#can’t even hear the bass in the vid :( | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

taelme · 5 years ago

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genre: college!au, college frat boy!Johnny (fluff, mild angst if you squint)

pairing/s: Johnny / Reader , Lucas and the some of the 127 kids make appearances

word count: 12k+ (wow this was a ride)

tw: not much just mild language, mentions of smoking and they drink in this... also nothing SUPER scandy but they make out in this so yes

a/n: gif isn't mine!! also low-key inspired by that vid of 127 playing beer pong in America.... read this on ao3

"Life doesn't wait for you to enjoy yourself, Y/N....you know?"

You rolled your eyes, a huff of laughter escaping your lips as you looked up from your work to raise an eyebrow at the boy beside you, his puffy brown hair falling over his eyes as he bobbed his head to the imaginary music playing in his head.

"Are you high?" you dropped your voice to a whisper, pulling your earbud from your ear and looking at him curiously.

Scoffing at you, his eyebrows furrowed, as if he suddenly wasn't sure himself, "I don't...actually know....but don't be like that," he set his pen down, looking at you with a serious, wide-eyed expression. "As I was saying, why don't you give him a chance? What's so bad about it?"

You knew what Lucas was talking about, glancing at your very conversation topic that was currently seated a few tables away from you at the self-study tables in your school’s library, gaze intent on his laptop as he scribbled furiously on his notepad. Dragging your gaze away, you looked back down at the post-it glaring at you from its position on a hot cup of coffee sitting on your desk- supposedly from him, reading:

‘meet me before you leave?

-Johnny-’

You frowned after reading it for the umpteenth time, not knowing what he would want you to meet him for, a sick feeling in your stomach refusing to let you study in peace until you knew just what it was, and Lucas, of course.

"What do you mean, ‘give him a chance’?" You shot back at Lucas in a harsh whisper, your leg bouncing anxiously as you thought about the possibility of you and Johnny Seo together.

It wasn't as if you didn't know who he was. He was in your literature lecture, though he barely showed up. You only knew he was there because every time he was, he'd always find a seat behind you. Not to mention the way he would lean forward, so his lips were just barely next to your ear and you could smell his expensive perfume, just so he could ask to borrow a highlighter; his voice so enchanting you couldn't forget it even if you wanted to.

Lucas shrugged, "I mean, maybe he wants to ask you out, I mean...why else would he go through the trouble of buying you a coffee and shit if he didn't?"

You narrowed your eyes at him, "I don't think that's how it works, Lucas,” you told him, “plus, you know, you're not exactly doing a very good job in convincing me that Johnny, who we've known for like... ever but has never expressed any interest in anything other than in what stationery I’d brought to class, is actually into me."

Lucas clucked his tongue at you in annoyance, "you know, you don't always have to be so iffy about everyone that expresses interest in you," he gave you a pointed look, making you shake your head.

"I don't do it without reason," you murmured, twirling your pen between your fingers absently.

"You're making me want to day drink," Lucas huffed, "I'm leaving. Can you make sure you meet him so I can rejoice in how I’m right when he ends up asking you out."

Lucas stood up, the chair screeching against the hardwood floor loudly, slinging his bag over his shoulder before shooting you a smile, almost sending you face-planting into the table when he'd given you a firm pat on your shoulder.

"All the best," he held his fist up in a gesture to cheer you on, leaving promptly after to fulfil his promise of daydrinking, you assumed.

As the clock ticked by, every time you brought your hot cup of drink to your lips (as much as you didn't want to take it from him, you couldn't help it, the drink smelled too good to resist), you were reminded of the impending meeting you were going to have with Johnny, subtly glancing at his table every now and then, not knowing what gave you the courage to stand, beginning to walk over to him.

You clenched the strap of your bag tighter in your hands as you neared his table, being able to hear the muffled pumping bass of his music through his headphones. Holding the cup with the post-it in your hand, you took in a deep breath before holding it in front of his face.

Johnny didn’t seem startled, which intimidated you even more, simply setting his pen down and turning around in his chair to face you, giving you a small smile.

Johnny opened his mouth to speak, but you'd cut in quickly.

"What do you want?" you blurted, realizing you'd sounded a bit rude, but not moving to correct yourself in case it'd make your strong, totally unintimidated facade crumble.

Johnny removed his headphones, knocking the hood of his jacket off his head, revealing his dark blue cap, which he'd fidgeted with as he looked at his scribbles on his notepad.

"Did you like it?" he asked you, taking the cup from your hands, eyebrows raising at the lightness of the cup, since you'd finished the coffee.

“How’d you know my coffee order?” you murmured.

Johnny’s lips parted, giving you an unabashed smile, "Well, that’s for me to know and you to… ignore, but I’m glad you liked it.”

Placing the cup onto his table, Johnny looked back at you with an almost-analytical gaze, the intent in his eyes almost successfully making you avert yours.

"Anyway, what I wanted to talk to you about was,” there was a hint of anticipation behind his smile, “d'you mind doing me a favour?" he continued.

"... what kind of favour?" you asked, your head spinning as your imagination ran wild with all the possible things he could have asked you. It wasn’t as if he was gonna ask for you to go on a date with him as a favour like a cliché teenage rom-com, was he?

Johnny pointed at his notebook with his scribbles on it, giving you a sheepish smile, "I kind of need the notes for the week before last's lecture."

You thought back, frowning in confusion when you'd recalled that Johnny had been sitting behind you that week, remembering the disappearance of your blue ballpoint pen taking place that lesson.

"Weren't you there?"

"Yeah, I was. But... uh,” Johnny gave you a sheepish smile, his hand coming up to scratch at the back of his neck, “may have had a really bad hangover that morning...and I did remember taking notes,” he said pointedly, “but uh... I don't know if you can, but I definitely can't make out what this means.”

Johnny turned, picking up a sheet of paper that was tucked in between his book to show you, illegible scribbles scattered around over the lines, the words trailing off into lines at the end of almost every sentence.

You pressed your lips together to suppress your urge to smile, scrunching your nose up in amusement.

"Sure," you eventually sighed, a small part of you thankful that he didn't ask you what Lucas thought he was going to ask you.

"Nice, thank you so much, you're a lifesaver," he thanked as you were busy fishing in your bag for the notes you'd consolidated just prior to meeting him.

You'd rather not give him the soft copy, seeing as there were way too many typos and distracted musings in there, (which may or may not have been about him as well).

"When do you need it back by?" he asked, earning a shrug from you.

Johnny huffed, seemingly amused by your demeanour.

"Okay, it's fine. I'll return them to you as soon as I’m done with them," he told you, startling you when he'd reached out a hand to touch your forearm gently before you could turn to leave, "see you around," he murmured.

You nodded quickly, walking away before you could embarrass yourself, Johnny not being able to help the smile from his face at your flustered state.

===

The next time you'd seen Lucas was when he'd arrived unannounced at the door of your apartment, a luxury you very much cherished thanks to your parents, who would much rather you not live in a dorm after hearing stories about peer influences in college life.

"So, are you married to Johnny yet?" he'd asked upon seeing you open the door for him, making you roll your eyes.

“Hello to you too, Lucas.”

"Hello,” he giggled, “also, go get dressed.”

At the look of confusion you’d given him, glancing down at your loungewear, Lucas had given you an expectant look, his eyebrows raised.

“You're coming with me to the mixer, remember?" Lucas continued. Oh, that.

"Right,” you let out a small sigh, “are you sure it's mandatory for us to go? And he didn't ask me out, by the way," you were hesitant about the mixer, having heard your fair share of rumours about the group of guys that were holding the party.

Entering your bedroom, you heard Lucas follow you into your room while you decided on what to wear.

"He didn't? Weird," Lucas frowned, flopping onto your bed with a thud and leaning against the headboard, crossing one of his stretched-out legs over the other.

"Don't wear that. You always wear that," Lucas snapped when you'd reached for your trusty outfit combination, making you put it back with a frown, skimming through your clothes before settling on something a little more ‘presentable’ according to him.

"Stop looking so nervous, you'll have fun! The guys are all really fun once you get to know them. Trust me!" you frowned at Lucas.

He'd been to many of these 'mixers', while you'd taken the liberty of forgoing the first three that had been held ever since you enrolled, but all Lucas had told you was that in going, you'd be promised to booze, music, and fun.

And considering your lack of entertainment these days, you figured it wouldn't be so bad if you just went for one.

Only when you'd reached did you realize that you were somewhere definitely not up your alley.

It looked like a house from the outside, (you obviously hadn't explored your campus enough to have stumbled upon the frats and sororities), but you were already growing increasingly excited (or nervous, you couldn't tell. Both made you feel like puking, frankly) from the tension of the music and the crowds of people.

You noticed Lucas was pretty popular among the people here, especially the guys, and you and Lucas had been led by one of them to the kitchen, the boy- who had striking features and a kind smile, handing the both of you drinks.

"Thanks, Yuta, where's the rest of the guys?" you heard Lucas ask him, and you'd frowned when he turned to you, asking you to stay there while he went God knows where with Yuta.

You downed your drink quicker than you'd expected, taking the liberty to grab a beer before you'd seen a group of girls walk into the kitchen, relieved sighs escaping their lips.

"Thank God we got out of there," you heard one of them say, your head tilting at them in confusion.

You must've looked a little too sober to have fit in, the soda in your cup and the lack of perspiration on you. But you didn’t think much of it, your attention captured when you heard one of them start to sigh, shrugging off their jacket.

"Those boys scare the shit out of me... remind me never to think I have a chance with Jaehyun again," she sighed.

Her friend had simply agreed, but not without letting out a tired sigh as well, "it’s not like he didn’t tell you beforehand that he wasn’t looking for anything serious... you can't come here thinking you can land a nice one, the nicest you're gonna find here is like... Johnny Seo, and he's not even interested!" you tilted your head at them, blurting out before you could stop yourself.

"You guys know Johnny too?" you blurted, seeing them look at you curiously, narrowing their eyes at you as if you were some sort of jungle predator.

"Do you?" one of them had asked, and you didn’t miss the way she’d scanned your attire, almost making you squirm uncomfortably.

You nodded slowly, not sure why they had looked at you in such shock.

"I guess? He's in my lit class," you shrugged, taking another sip of your beer.

"What about him?" you continued, curiosity getting the better of you, but you were annoyed to say the least when Lucas had chosen that time to return to the kitchen, smiling and nodding at the girls in greeting (they seemed to recognize him, straightening up and adjusting their clothes immediately).

"Come on, let's play some games!" he said, not giving you a chance to respond before he'd dragged you further into the house, where you saw what looked like a lounge area, ping pong table set up for beer pong.

Looking around the room, you felt like you were seeing something completely new yet utterly cliché to you, how the music here was different in the sense that it wasn't any of that electronic music they were playing outside, the trap and rap catching your attention.

"I brought a guest!" Lucas announced upon entering the room, and your heart had almost stopped at the sight of Johnny, who was seated at the sofa with a drink in hand, looking up from his phone when he'd heard Lucas say your name.

His eyebrows raised in surprise, not expecting to see you here, making you take a bigger sip of your drink (which had been replaced by Lucas’ beer), glancing around the room and waving at the guys who greeted you with smiles and nods.

"First time at a mixer?" a boy that Lucas had told you was named ‘Ten’ had asked you, earning a nod from you.

“Uh-huh,” you smiled, though it seemed Ten could sense your tension.

"How are you finding it?" he'd asked as the boys had started playing games to decide how to split the teams.

"I pick Y/N to be on my team!" Johnny had shouted over the noise just as you'd turned to Ten, who chose to sit out of the game, to reply, "Loud."

Ten had glanced at the players you and Johnny would be against, shrugging, "You're in safe hands," he told you, shooting you a knowing smile before leaving to sit with Lucas who was seated next to a boy named Baekhyun.

You'd moved to do the same but were stopped in your tracks when Johnny had approached you.

"Hey. Didn't expect to see you here," he told you, leading you to an empty space on one of the sofas and pulling you to sit down next to him, squeezing you between him and the side of the armrest with the sheer amount of people trying to fit onto the sofa.

"Why so?" you asked, observing the first two teams that had gone up to play, finally putting a face to the name you'd heard in the kitchen down there. Jaehyun, he seemed nice, cute....but too competitive, you dismissed the thought quickly.

"Didn't see you at the last few mixers," Johnny explained, making you scoff.

"Didn't expect you to notice," you shrugged with a laugh.

Johnny didn't seem to find the joke as funny as you did, simply tilting his head at you.

"How could I not?" he murmured, dropping the topic quickly as the game had started, the guys around you cheering noisily as a lean boy named Doyoung landed his first shot.

"I think Jaehyun's team's gonna win," he leaned over and told you, keeping his gaze fixed on the teams, a calm yet focused expression on his face (while a part of you wondered how he was taking this game so seriously).

Johnny leaned back in his seat comfortably, his hands in his lap, leaning over you to place his drink on the small table beside the sofa.

You, on the other hand, were busy trying to communicate telepathically with Lucas.

He was frantically gesturing saying you should be flirting with Johnny but you glared at him, shaking your head furiously, catching Johnny's attention from your sudden movement.

“Hmm?” he turned to you, eyebrows raised in a silent question.

You shook your head, trying to think of an excuse, “Oh, nothing, I was just trying to figure out why that guy next to Ten was so familiar.”

Johnny laughed, scrunching his nose, “That’s Taeyong. Wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve heard of him… he’s got… quite the rep.”

Laughing (even though you had no idea what rep Johnny was referring to), you let out a small sigh, glad to have successfully diverted Johnny’s attention.

The game progressed quickly, Johnny’s prediction being right about Jaehyun's team having the upper-hand, and they'd won in no time.

Gulping down on the bare droplets left in your cup for good measure as you watched Johnny step up to the table, waving you over, you set your cup down and made your way over quickly.

You were nervous to say the least, not trusting your sense of aim, especially with how Johnny was towering next to you, his presence adding to your nervousness.

"Any words for the other team before you begin?" Baekhyun had provoked, urging their competitive spirits to awaken, as Johnny had leaned forward.

"Good luck," he shrugged casually, and usually you would've been put off by this kind of cocky behaviour, figuring the only reason why you thought it was okay now was because it was coming from none other than Johnny Seo.

"Johnny," you whispered while the guys on the other team, Jungwoo and Taeyong, had been busy throwing challenges and trying to hype their audience up.

Johnny leant over, bending down so he could hear you better.

"Yeah?" He shrugged off his dark coloured flannel, leaving him in his plain black shirt and ripped blue jeans. You’d felt as though you were having déjà vu, the many times he’d leant over to you during lectures making your face warm at his proximity.

You cupped your hands around your mouth like how you would if you were telling a secret.

"I'm not very good at this game," you murmured.

Johnny giggled, shaking his head at you in dismissal.

"It's fine, just have fun, it's just a game after all," he told you reassuringly, but once it started, it was like you were seeing a different side of Johnny (and suddenly it didn’t seem like ‘just a game’).

He aimed confidently, one hand shoved into his pocket so he wouldn't fidget around (or just to look cool, as Ten had pointed out), and had landed two shots smoothly at the start.

It was going to be your turn when Jungwoo had landed the ping pong ball in one of your cups. You scrunched your nose up, nervous for some reason about your next shot as you picked the cup up and downed it in one go, making Johnny raise an eyebrow at you in amusement.

Hoping your aim was steady enough, you held your hand up, ready to throw when Johnny had leant down next to you, softly instructing you on where he thought you'd be able to get a clear shot.

In your flustered state, you'd missed, and if Johnny was disappointed, he didn't show it.

Johnny had offered to drink the drinks on behalf of you whenever your team lost, which, of course, flattered you but also disappointed you because you were hoping to get to drink a little. Though you couldn't say you weren't impressed by how he was handling his drinks.

You weren't aware that your sulky demeanour was showing on your face as you saw the ball land in your side's cup again, already anticipating Johnny's hand swooping in to help you drink the beer.

"Why d'you look so sad, babe?" Yuta laughed, making you shake your head dismissively, before Lucas had outed you quicker than you could blink.

"Y/N hasn't had a drink the whole game!" he laughed loudly, knowing you had come here with plans to indulge before you went back to studying.

Johnny held the cup in his hands, looking slightly buzzed already, an intrigued smile on his face.

"You want this?" he asked, holding the cup up and you clenched the ping pong ball in your hands, nodding.

Throwing it quickly, you heard cheers erupt as it landed in your opponent's cup.

Johnny in his excitement, turned to you with the cup still in his hands. You’d raised your hands slightly in a move to grab the cup, though your actions went unnoticed by Johnny.

"Open up," he sing-songed, using one hand to tilt your chin up, bringing the cup to your lips and letting you down its contents.

Gulping the liquid down with a wince, you saw his expression change, his parted lips of concentration curving to form a slight smile.

"Happy?" he'd asked, eyebrows raising, making you nod quickly, directing your attention back to the game quickly.

You were excited when you saw that Taeyong's ball had missed, leaving one last cup on their side that you had to get rid of before you would win.

"Go ahead," you prompted Johnny, seeing him get into his position calmly, throwing the ball and shrugging nonchalantly when he'd seen it go in, the rest of the guys erupting in shouts.

You were amused that he'd reacted in such a way, walking over to the table of drinks and pouring something stronger for himself.

"Want some?" he'd asked before shaking his head, "Actually, no, I think you shouldn't," he laughed, making you raise an eyebrow at him, wondering why it seemed as though he knew your alcohol tolerance too.

You realized you had to play a final round against Jaehyun and Yuta, and this time you were a little more thankful for the fact that Johnny would drink on behalf of you, considering your tolerance wasn't the best and you were already starting to feel a little buzzed, smiling more than you were used to.

You could tell he was a little more relaxed too, even though the game was getting intense, even going to the extent of patting your head proudly when you landed a shot, resting a hand on your shoulder whenever it wasn't your turn (and sometimes even during your turn)

And after the previous game, you were even more determined not to have a repeat of the whole 'open up' situation, simply letting Johnny drink on behalf of you. Though your team eventually lost (Lucas would scold you later on saying it was totally your fault), the guys had moved on to a different game pretty quickly, deciding on a game of ‘never have I ever’.

You would've considered yourself to be a player with an advantage, seeing as you were pretty sure they were starting strong and you supposed you hadn't done a lot of questionable things in your life.

The guys had already lost two fingers by the first two players, who'd asked pretty mild questions related to drinking and skipping class, "Jungwoo, your turn."

The boy pursed his lips, before a mischievous grin appeared on his face, "I've got one. Never have I ever woken up next to someone I don't know."

You stayed the same, laughing at the way Taeyong had nonchalantly put a finger down, jumping with a start when you'd heard shouts erupt and many fingers start pointing at Johnny.

"Don’t lie! You have to put one down!"

Johnny raised his hands in defence, eyes widening, "Why should I?" He scoffed.

"You can't say you've never fucked someone when you were less than sober before," Jaehyun drawled, a hint of sulkiness in his tone, the now rosy-cheeked boy upset that he was left with only two fingers and silently hoping that he could drag someone else down with him.

Johnny shook his head, smiling smugly, "I, for one, happen to make sure I know the people I...have relations with, as a matter of fact," your eyes widened at his forwardness, looking down at your four extended fingers, hoping your shyness wasn't obvious.

"Jae, you're up," Johnny pat the boy on the shoulder, seeing him purse his lips.

Johnny tried not to glance at you, a part of him enjoying the breath of fresh air that you were still doing pretty well in the game, not seeing you pick up your cup more than once during the game so far.

Taeyong had snickered, leaning over to murmur something in Jaehyun’s ear.

Jaehyun smirked, directing his gaze at Johnny intentionally, "Never have I ever… made out with someone more than 8 years older than me."

Johnny refrained from standing up.

"Fuck you, Taeyong," lowering his finger before he picked up his cup, drinking it all the while with narrowed eyes directed towards Taeyong, making you laugh along with the rest at him.

"Wow, Y/N's doing pretty well," Jaehyun pointed out, "too bad we don't know enough about you," he said, heavy implications behind his words, earning a glare from Johnny.

"And you won't," Johnny butt in quickly.

Yuta spoke up, "alright, my turn. Never have I ever smoked."

The boys were confident initially, until Lucas had spoken up, his eyebrows furrowed as he pouted.

"Do e-ciggs count?"

Johnny nodded, knowing smile on his face, not seeming to mind that he had to put down a finger as well. You tried to hide your surprise when you saw how many of them had only picked up their cups after that, having lost the game already after running out of fingers.

A few of them had gotten up and searched for other things to play, Johnny leaning back in his seat, resting his weight on his hands as he looked at you.

"Did you have fun?" he gave you a soft smile, making you shrug, forcing your gaze from your fingers to look at him, momentarily distracted by how brown his eyes looked in this lighting, not to mention the hazy look in his eyes.

"Were the uh...notes, useful?" you asked in your lack of a better response.

Johnny furrowed his eyebrows, lips parting in thought before he nodded.

"Oh, right, I was gonna return them to you the next time we had class but I can actually give them to you now, if you want."

You hesitated before nodding, figuring you'd might as well since he had them now, your mind not registering the fact that this meant Johnny lived here and that getting them now meant getting them from his room, your alcohol-induced state thinking all the while that he just had them in his backpack somewhere here.

You were too focused on following Johnny to realize that the other guys were giving each other looks, assuming Johnny had brought you upstairs for other reasons, already passing the point in the house that guests were allowed in.

Though you had to admit you were a little thankful for that because you were starting to feel the drinks you'd consumed start to hit you, feeling your head get a lot heavier than it was just moments ago.

Johnny shoved the door open, revealing rather welcoming warm tones in the decoration, down to the different pictures he'd pasted around the room, varying from scenery to pictures of the other guys you'd seen downstairs.

"Is this your room?" you asked, hearing him grunt in affirmation, walking over to his desk and fishing out your notes from under the stack of papers.

He waved them at you and you'd accepted them gratefully, still standing around awkwardly next to his bed as he'd taken a seat on his bed, looking at you expectantly.

Too tired to form words, you watched curiously as he'd extended his arm, reaching over to tug on the hem of your shirt, urging you to sit down, his head pounding as well.

"Were they useful?" you asked, letting yourself sit on his bed with a light thud, the both of your minds too hazy to realize you'd asked him this already when you were downstairs.

Johnny nodded, his eyebrows raising as if he'd remembered something, leaning over your shoulder to flip the pages of your notes, pointing at something you'd written.

"There was… I don't really get this part, though," he murmured.

You tried explaining to him, only realizing how much the both of you were yawning when you were halfway through explaining, thinking that maybe this wasn't such a good time for you to be explaining literary concepts to him.

You laughed, shaking your head when you realized you'd been repeating yourself the past three sentences and Johnny hadn't even noticed, too busy staring at your lips as you spoke and trying to remind himself that whatever he had in mind probably wasn't what you had in mind.

"Honestly, I think I should explain this another time, I’m honestly really tired," you yawned, seeing him give you a tired smile, nodding.

"Who's your ride home?" he asked.

"Lucas," you yawned.

Johnny stood up, albeit reluctantly, and led you downstairs so you could go find Lucas, your heart sinking when you saw him passed out on the sofa in the guys' lounge room.

Hearing Johnny huff next to you, you sighed deeply.

"Well, there goes my ride," you frowned, attempting to shake him awake but to no avail.

Johnny cast an amused look at Lucas' sleeping figure, "I can uh...let you crash for the night? pretty sure the rest of us are too drunk to drive you back anyway," Johnny told you, making you shoot him a hesitant look.

"Are you sure? I can just like walk home myself or something—"

Johnny shot you a look, shaking his head as he was already leading you back up to his room.

You were surprised, again, at how the noise from the party was so muffled from Johnny's room.

"It's really late now, that'd be stupid and dangerous," he brought you back into his room.

Well, then.

"You wanna wash up first?" he yawned, and you realized he really wasn't kidding about this. "I've some clothes you can change into.”

Your eyes widened, before wincing at the throbbing ache in your head, the urge to just curl up in comfortable sheets and go to sleep stronger than ever.

“There’s a spare toothbrush and stuff in the cupboard behind the mirror, you can like... just go ahead and use that," he told you, and you'd stepped into the bathroom, shutting the door behind you.

If someone had asked you yesterday what you were planning on doing over the weekend, you definitely would not have expected yourself to be sleeping in Johnny Seo’s room for the night, much less after finding out all that you found out about him from the games you played prior to this.

Staring in the mirror in your tired daze after washing your face, you'd reached for the toothpaste, starting to brush your teeth slowly, flinching slightly when you heard a sharp knock on the door.

"Is it safe?" you heard him ask, huffing in amusement at the innocent nature of the question.

"Uh-huh, very," you murmured over the toothbrush, seeing the door open and he handed you a bunched up t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts.

"Thanks," you said, spitting out the toothpaste and rinsing your mouth, closing the door behind you and proceeding to change into the clothes he'd given you, only there was a slight problem, the pants were much too big, sliding down your hips.

You'd tried to search if there was a string you could use to tighten the waistline of the pants, frowning when you saw none.

Peeking your head out of the bathroom, you spotted Johnny sitting at the edge of his bed, hands shoved into his pockets as he stared at nothing in particular.

"Johnny?" you called timidly, seeing his gaze lock with yours, tilting his head.

"Yeah?" he hummed.

"Slight problem, the pants are too big," you frowned, watching him raise his eyebrows, frowning, never having run into this problem before because he didn't usually give girls his clothes to wear.

"Oh, shit. Alright, wait hold on, I'll go see if I can get a smaller pair," he got up, walking out and going over to Ten's room, just as the said boy was trying to drag a very passed out Lucas into the room.

"Hey, glad I caught you here, do you happen to have a spare pair of pants I could borrow?" Ten practically dropped Lucas once they were past the door, panting with a pained look on his face.

"Pants, for what?"

"For Y/N," Johnny said, already having anticipated the smirk Ten gave him.

"Just let her go without them, no one else will see," Ten shrugged, as if just having solved Johnny's problem with his Ten-logic.

Johnny shot him a look.

"I'm not doing that," he said firmly.

"Why? Is this the period where you get to know someone before you....what did you say just now? 'have relations' with them?"

Johnny rolled his eyes, "Yes and no. Look, enough questions. Would you just give me the pants?"

Ten scrunched his nose in amusement, walking over to his cupboard and rummaging around before pulling out a pair of shorts, tossing them over to Johnny.

"Have fun. Oh, and sweet dreams… if you even get any sleep tonight." Ten waggled his eyebrows at Johnny, which Johnny had promptly ignored. Walking back into his room and seeing you leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom with a tired look on your face, he held the pants up with one hand.

Johnny couldn't help but laugh at how tired you looked as he handed you the shorts, "here, hope these fit better."

You accepted them gratefully, eventually coming out of the bathroom with your clothes and Johnny's too-big shorts in hand.

Johnny had told you to just set them aside as he'd gone into the bathroom to wash up, coming out and walking over to his cupboard, almost forgetting you were there as he removed his shirt, his back facing you.

Your eyes widened, turning away quickly so you wouldn't start staring.

After you heard the door to the cupboard shut, you asked, "Are you done?"

Hearing his laugh in response, followed by a "yes", you turned around, seeing him turn his lights off to the room, though you could still see.

"Hope you don't mind that we're sharing a bed, by the way. I can go sleep in Taeyong's room, if you're not okay with it."

Stunned, you watched him slip into the bed, leaving a space for you.

"Oh, no it's fine, I mean, do you mind? I don't wanna impose or anything," you murmured, resting a knee on the side of his bed tentatively, seeing him shake his head.

You were used to sharing a bed with Lucas whenever he stayed over, but this was way different. Because this was Johnny, and not Lucas who you’d seen practically all sides of already.

"I don't mind at all," he assured you, and you'd taken that as your queue to slip into bed as well, stressed about which way to face, eventually deciding on lying with your back to the bed.

"Thanks again... for letting me crash, and stuff," you murmured, hearing him hum.

"You were really cool playing beer pong just now," you blurted, starting to ramble in your fatigue.

You heard him let out a small huff, already being able to picture the tired smile on his face.

"I had fun, since you were on my team," he murmured, and if you thought his voice when asking to borrow your highlighters or pens in class had an effect on you, the way he spoke to you now was much much worse.

"Hope Lucas doesn't mind the fact that you're sleeping here," he yawned.

You frowned.

"Lucas? why would he mind? He's been be—" you stopped yourself, realizing you couldn't just tell Johnny that Lucas had been nagging at you to try your luck with him.

"Huh? You guys aren't like… seeing each other?" he asked, and you shook your head.

Johnny didn’t know why he bothered asking. He already knew you and Lucas were just friends, he figured he’d simply wanted to hear it from you, just in case.

"Nope, far from that," you told him.

A silence had fallen between the both of you after that, and you'd turned your head to face Johnny, whose eyes were closed.

"Go to sleep, Y/N.”

You weren't sure why, but you felt like a child being put to bed by their parents when they weren't ready for bed yet, not being able to help the "why," of protest you'd mumbled.

"Because I'm really tipsy and you're making it really hard for me not to kiss you," he murmured, turning around to face the opposite direction, leaving you shutting your eyes immediately, warmth spreading to your cheeks quickly.

===

You frowned when you'd woken up to a weight on your stomach, groggily wanting to turn but confused at the sight of Johnny's pillow being empty.

Rubbing your eyes again, you'd glanced at your stomach, realizing that Johnny's hand was draped over your stomach, his palm tucked in under you like he was hugging a bolster, and his face snuggled up next to your waist.

Your eyes widened, texting Lucas and asking where he was, seeing that he’d given you a missed call.

10:21pm -don’t call me lucas i swear to god just text me- lucas 10:21pm -WHY what happened??? why can’t i call u???-

You saw that he was already calling you, not listening to you, and because your phone decided it would be good not to give you the option to decline his call, you picked up in your panic to get your phone to stop ringing.

“Lucas,” you whispered harshly, “I told you not to call me!” your movements had caused Johnny to stir awake, wondering what you were so tense about.

“Why can’t I call you? and why are you whispering!”

“Where are you?” you asked, hoping he hadn’t left the house without you.

“I’m in Ten’s room, where are you?”

“I’m in Johnny’s ro—” you felt Johnny shift, moving his hand to rest on your stomach, resting his chin on top of his hand as he looked up at you with tired eyes, his shoulder practically holding you down with his weight, making you stop talking to Lucas halfway in your distracted state, only snapping out of it when you heard a knock at the door.

“Come in,” Johnny murmured tiredly, and you brought your hands up to cover your face when you saw Lucas barge into the room, looking between you and Johnny before pressing his lips together, struggling to contain his smile.

“Uh...Y/N, I’ll just... wait for you downstairs,” he murmured, a slight giggle escaping his lips as Johnny waved at him with a smile, watching as Lucas closed the door behind him after walking back out.

“Good morning,” Johnny murmured, pushing himself off of you, getting up from his bed groggily as he fished for a bag from underneath his table, placing your clothes inside neatly along with your notes.

“Go on, poor Lucas is waiting for you downstairs,” he fiddled with his earring, holding the bag out for you.

You accepted the bag, getting up and smoothing down your shirt where it had bunched up while you were asleep.

“I’ll uh...return this to you after I wash it,” you said, and he was nodding patronizingly, hands on your shoulders as he guided you downstairs, seeing Lucas waiting in the kitchen, talking to Doyoung.

“Morning,” Johnny greeted Doyoung in the kitchen, seeing Lucas stand up and cover his mouth (though it was obvious he was grinning), nodding goodbye at Doyoung as you were practically pushed out of the door, Johnny smiling and waving you goodbye as he leant against the doorframe.

Once you were closer to his car, Lucas nudged you harshly, almost sending you stumbling onto the lawn.

“What the hell was that?” Lucas asked you in hushed whispers (or as hushed as he could bring his voice down), making you wince, letting out a groan.

“You’re asking me? I wasn’t necessarily prepared for you to pass out on me,” you glared at him, getting into the passenger seat of his car.

He sighed, thankful to be able to talk normally now.

“Yeah, well...” he trailed off, not being able to find an excuse for you. “But the way you two looked so cozy just now!” he diverted the topic, making your eyes widen defensively.

“That was all him, okay?”

“You see? I told you he was interested in you!” Lucas started the engine, beginning to drive slowly, making his tone more serious.

“But you guys didn’t…” he let out a grunt, ��did you?”

You almost screamed, shaking your head vigorously, “Oh my god no, we didn’t.”

Lucas glanced at you pensively before looking back at the road, “That’s weird. You guys didn’t even make out or anything?”

“Lucas!” You scolded

“What? I’m asking important questions!”

You huffed in disbelief, shaking your head eventually, “No, we didn’t.”

Lucas hummed again, as if he was surprised, “… weird.”

“Why do you keep saying it’s weird?” you frowned, seeing him shake his head.

Lucas brought a hand away from the wheel to run through his hair, smoothing down the mess. “I don’t know, just...unexpected I guess. Johnny’s not usually so nice…”

“Take this for example,” Lucas gestured to the clothes you were wearing, “never in my duration of being here have I ever seen Johnny lend his clothes to anyone other than the other guys… and that’s saying a lot too because you guys didn’t even do anything last night.”

You contemplated on telling Lucas what Johnny had said before you slept, afraid that if you told him now he’d throw a fit and swerve the car, so you decided to wait until you’d reached your house, getting out of the car and grasping the handle of the bag tightly.

“I mean....okay he did say something,”

Lucas snapped his head around to face you, a questioning look on his face, eyebrows furrowing and lips parting as a hint of a smile played at his lips.

“We were like already going to sleep and all and we talked a little and then he suddenly told me to go to sleep and I was kind of sad because I felt like he was just trying to get me to shut up,” Lucas snickered at that, “but then I asked him why and then he said... it was because he was like really tipsy and I was making it hard for him not to kiss me.”

You scrunched your eyes shut, hoping the lift would reach your floor quicker.

“He said that?!” Lucas gasped, making you nod, gauging his face for a reaction, seeing him let out a loud strangled sound of excitement.

“Okay, well clearly that clarifies the question of whether he’s attracted to you,” he told you, making you frown, walking out of the elevator and unlocking the door of your apartment quickly, Lucas shutting the door behind him.

“Why do you look so hesitant? Isn’t this a good thing?” Lucas asked, seeing you shrug at him.

You sighed, feeling your headache worsen.

“Think about it, Lucas. I don’t know whether he’s actually interested and what he... intends to get out of it, you know? I heard some girls talking about the guys in the kitchen yesterday, and they weren’t speaking very highly of Johnny and his friends…”

Lucas dismissed your worries quickly, “that depends on how Johnny treats you, and of course, whether you’re willing to take the risk.”

“You said it yourself, it’s a risk,” you told him pointedly.

Lucas shook his head insistently, “Look, Johnny’s really nice, and if anything, whatever he’s been doing lately is just his way of trying to get to know you more.”

Lucas shrugged, walking over to your cupboard and getting out the spare set of clothes he kept here for days where he would stay over.

Taking in a deep breath, you let it out with a sigh, shaking your head.

“Okay, fine. I’ll just see what he does from here.”

Lucas smiled triumphantly, “That’s right. Now, I’m gonna take a shower and give you some time to think about him.”

===

“Hey,” you’d seen Johnny in the library when you were doing work in the spare time before your literature lecture, thankful that you’d brought the bag of Johnny’s clothes to return him. His hair was hidden again by his cap, turned backwards so it wasn’t covering his face, doing wonders in making him look like a typical boy (except typical boys didn’t look as good as he did)

“Hi,” you greeted, seeing him gesture to the table, “is there anyone sitting here?”

He gave you a small smile, adjusting his grip on his cup of coffee.

Shaking your head, you urged him to sit down, “Nope, go ahead.”

He gave you a smile in thanks, sitting down and laying out his things.

“Actually, since we weren’t very successful the other night,” he let out a huff of laughter, “I was wondering if you’d mind explaining to me that part in your notes again?”

Your eyebrows raised in surprise, nodding as you saw him push his notes towards you on the table, leaning forward to rest his weight on his elbows as you pointed with your pencil to explain to him the links between the different aspects of the story and how they related to that part he didn’t understand.

As you did so, you tried not to let yourself get distracted by the way he would take his lower lip between his lips in concentration, or the way he would bring the cup of coffee to his lips and nod at you as you spoke, stopping you whenever he didn’t get it to ask you if what he got was correct.

“Does that make sense?” you asked him to clarify once you were done explaining, seeing him nod slowly, eventually looking up to smile at you, nodding more firmly.

“Yeah, thanks so much,” he told you, putting his notes aside and opening his laptop up, typing away at whatever paper he was doing.

You noticed how different it was for him to be sitting at the self-study tables versus when he sat somewhere exposed with you, seeing how many more people approached him to say hi or walked past with the intention of getting his attention, and you lost count of the number of pretty girls that had chimed in with a ‘hi johnny’, but not without shooting you a surprised look, as if to silently ask why you were sitting with him in somewhere that wasn’t a party setting.

“Sorry, is it distracting you?” Johnny noticed after a while when he’d connected how you’d tap your pen and take longer to return to your work each time a girl or guy had walked past him to say hi.

You looked back at him in surprise, realizing he’d caught you staring at the girl that had just walked past the both of you, saying she would see him at the next mixer.

“Huh?” you raised your eyebrows in question, hearing him let out a huff in amusement.

“Nah...you just seem a little… distracted, is all,” he said, a soft smile on his face as he twirled his pen between his fingers, making you scoff, panicked at the thought that your distraction had been obvious enough for him to notice.

“You should be the one that’s distracted, with someone coming by to greet you every five minutes,” you shot back quickly.

Johnny shrugged, bringing his cup of coffee up to his lips with a smile, taking a sip before he spoke.

“I don’t know, Y/N… you sitting in front of me is already plenty distracting.”

You shut your mouth quickly, a small scoff leaving you.

“You know you shouldn’t say things like that so casually,” you laughed nervously, seeing him put his pen down, as if prompting you to continue so you did, “might make me get the wrong idea.”

He hummed, as if pretending to consider your words, though he’d already made up his mind on what he wanted to say.

“I don’t know, Y/N, what exactly is the ‘wrong’ idea?” he asked with feigned innocence, scrunching his nose up slightly, earning an exasperated look from you.

“You know what I’m talking about, Johnny.”

“Then you won’t mind telling me, right? You know, so I know that we’re on the same page?” he shrugged, prodding you further.

“Okay, fine. I just meant that if you keep saying shit like that to me I might actually start to think you like me,” you huffed, highlighting another line on your book, looking up when you hadn’t heard a response from him.

Johnny Seo wasn’t someone that usually expressed his interest like this, he was used to casual flirting, not flirting to win someone over, especially when that person was you.

And now that he was finally in that position, finding a way to express his interest in a way that wouldn’t intimidate you was a lot harder than he’d expected it to be.

Johnny shrugged, “… maybe I do want you to think that.”

Your lips parted, not being able to find a proper response to what he said, choosing to stare at him in shock, the way he was looking at you with an expectant expression, picking up his phone and texting someone as you tried to recover from your shock.

“What’s... what’s in it for you?” you asked, seeing him look up from his phone screen, giving you a shrug as he set his phone back down on the table gently.

“Well, you... I guess,” he answered, making you furrow your eyebrows, still a little bit unconvinced that he was being sincere.

I mean, not that you had any reason to question him, but you just felt like it was too good to be true.

“Oh… uh, well.”

Johnny decided to put you out of your misery for now,

“Anyway, should we get going? Lecture’s gonna start soon.”

He'd gotten up from his seat, slinging his bag over his shoulder as he gathered the rest of his things in hand nonchalantly, and you did your best to shove everything into your bag before carrying it in front of you, as if hugging it would make you feel a little more sane after what he'd just told you.

“The guys are asking when they’re gonna be able to see you again,” he laughed, making you frown in confusion, slightly out of breath from climbing the stairs up to the auditorium.

“Well, when do you think would be a good time for that?” you asked, seeing him scrunch his nose up.

“If I’m being honest, I wouldn’t bring you to see them if I had a choice… can’t trust some of them not to fall for you,” he tilted his head, lifting his cap and adjusting his hair before putting it back on.

You couldn’t help the laugh that left you.

“What the hell, Johnny, then why’d you even tell me they wanted to see me again?” You huffed, laughing at the absurdity of the situation.

Johnny laughed with you, shrugging when he realized what he said could have made you very confused, choosing instead to shake his head, dismissing the previous statements.

“You know what? It’s alright. I’ll let you know when the next mixer is, but then again Lucas will probably tell you first."

You couldn't help but laugh, knowing that was very much true, distracted as you’d reached the auditorium. Since it was your first time entering with Johnny, you’d wondered if people always gawked at Johnny like this as he walked past them, pushing the door open for you to the lecture hall.

“After you," he bowed dramatically, making you shove his shoulders so he would straighten up, not wanting to attract any more attention despite being flattered by the gesture.

You tried to remain calm at Johnny had taken his seat beside you instead of behind you this time, claiming it was to make it ‘easier for him to borrow your stationery’ (even though the both of you sort of knew/hoped that it wasn't true).

You watched as your professor had walked into the room, setting up his things noisily on the table as he invited ( or demanded ) for everyone to take their seats, announcing that today's lesson was rather content heavy.

Sighing, you took out your book, flipping it open to the pages he was referring to and having your laptop ready to take notes, Johnny taking the liberty to lean over and ask you for a pen, the smell of his hoodie making you wish you could just lean forward and nuzzle your face into it.

But of course, you stayed calm, squeaking out a small 'go ahead' to him, seeing him smile and reach over you to grab at the pink highlighter in your pencil case.

"Y/N," you heard him murmur, and you'd raised your eyebrows, nodding at him to continue as you typed down what your professor was writing on the screen. You hoped he wouldn’t ask you what the professor had just said because you were definitely struggling to pay attention.

"Do you wanna get dinner after this?" he asked, making you snicker, trying to stifle your laughter before it could echo throughout the room.

"Johnny, the lecture barely even started," you turned to him with an amused look, seeing him dismiss your amusement.

"But yes, I don't mind getting dinner with you after this," you replied softly, seeing his eyes widen, pretending to stab your highlighter in his chest with a wince.

"Ouch, you 'don't mind’? Hey, if you don't wanna have dinner with me you can just tell me," he teased, making you roll your eyes.

"Shut up before I change my mind, Johnny."

You realized how distracting Johnny's presence beside you was, thankful that he hadn’t chosen to done this sooner or you would’ve definitely left lectures feeling as though you’d never even attended.

It was the way he would lean over to peek at what you were writing when he got lost, or the way he would play with his earrings absentmindedly, which would make his earrings fall off occasionally, and he would have to fumble around to get it, making you unconsciously put your hand against the table to make sure he wouldn't knock his head against it, an action that didn't go unnoticed by him.

"Y/N," he whispered, the harshness of it making the people in front of you turn around, and you gave them apologetic looks in return, turning back to face Johnny with an expectant look.

Johnny leant over closer to you, turning to whisper, "What did he write, I can't read his fugly handwriting—"

"Johnny is there something so important that you have to be interrupting Y/N in the middle of my class?" you winced when you heard your professor's voice echo through the classroom, drawing a load of unwanted attention to you.

Johnny smiled, shaking his head, "Nothing, professor, just talking about how much I love your handwriting."

The professor eyed him suspiciously, nodding slowly.

"Flattered, but I’d like you to pay attention to the words I'm writing instead of the way I'm writing them," he sighed loudly, turning back to recollect his thoughts and pick up where he'd left off.

You'd silently nudged your laptop towards him, gesturing with your finger at the words Johnny was having trouble deciphering.

"Oh, thanks," he giggled.

You were pretty surprised at how Johnny had been keeping up considering the fact that he didn't always have the best track record for lectures. You were almost about to commend him for it until you turned and realized his head was close to hitting the table, already falling asleep.

Suppressing your smile, you'd reached a hand over to pat his head, making him jolt awake, confusion laced in his features.

Pushing his cup of coffee towards him, you struggled with the urge to smooth down his messy hair, "drink something. It'll keep you awake," you whispered.

Seeing him nod gratefully at you, he'd finished the rest of his coffee, leaning back and straightening his posture in an attempt to make himself feel less groggy, even at one point resorting to thinking about you so there was no way he could fall asleep.

At one point you'd took pity on him, initiating games of ‘tic tac toe’ on your spare paper to keep him awake, not wanting the professor to call you both out again.

"Alright, since I’m already starting to lose most of you, I’ll wrap it up here today. You're all free to go."

Johnny let out a relieved sigh.

"Finally, I'm hungry. Quick, let's go eat," he stood up quickly, taking his hat from the table and adjusting his hair before hiding it under his hat as he waited for you, ignoring the people who were staring as they walked past the both of you on their way out, surprised that Johnny Seo actually made friends in his classes that weren't his frat brothers.

"Did you have any place in mind?" you asked, seeing him nod.

"But only if you're okay with it, of course. I was thinking we could go to the burger joint just outside campus," he told you, his words alone enough to make your stomach grumble.

"I'm more than okay with that," you huffed, seeing his smile grow bigger, wordlessly leading you out of the lecture hall.

"You seem to know this area pretty well," he commented, after the both of you had discussed the other food places in the area that you thought were good.

You nodded, "I mean, I kind of have to. I live here," you let out a small giggle, seeing his eyebrows raise in intrigue.

"Oh, you don't live in the dorms?"

You shook your head. Johnny nodded pensively, making you curious to his reaction.

"What’s with the reaction?" you laughed.

He shook his head, and you spotted the burger and pizza joint down the street you were currently walking on.

"Nah, just, that kind of explains why the guys haven't really seen you around school," you raised an eyebrow.

"Do they spend lots of time in the girls dorms?" you joked, a part of you not expecting him to look so serious as he replied you.

"… I guess you could say that," he shrugged.

Walking into the shop, the owner had recognized you from how often you and Lucas get food here, and she had seemed to recognize Johnny as well.

"Y/N, usual for you and Lucas?" she'd asked before turning to Johnny, "table for the rest of the guys as well today, Johnny?"

Your eyes widened, strangely feeling shy that you were here with Johnny instead of Lucas, but if Johnny was shy, he did a pretty good job of not showing it, simply shaking his head with a friendly smile on his face.

"Nope, just a table for the two of us will be fine," he told her, and now it was her turn to look surprised, only realizing now that the both of you had arrived together, doing a poor job of concealing her smile as she led the both of you to a booth at the side.

You nodded at her in thanks before she'd placed the both of your menus down.

"Do you know what you want already?" you nodded at Johnny's question.

"Great, then we'll just order now," the owner nodded, taking your orders before leaving you two (not without a cheeky 'have fun' leaving her lips as she left).

"So," Johnny began, glancing at how you were typing away at your phone, since Lucas was blowing up your phone asking if you were with Johnny.

6:59pm -yes im with johnny now leave me alone pls ill update u later-

You set your phone down, looking at him expectantly, but he was having his own crisis about wanting to be forward with you but suddenly not knowing how to flirt when he looked at you.

You were thankful for the water that they'd served, bringing it up to your lips and taking big sips to take your mind off how nervous you were in front of Johnny, not only because he looked so pretty up close but also because of the way he gave you his full attention.

"Do I make you nervous?" he suddenly spoke, almost making you choke on your water, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, making Johnny simply stare.

"Uh....just a little bit?" you confessed, seeing his eyes crinkle at its corners when he laughed at you, his laugh bubbling out in fits, making you smile, enjoying how cute he looked like this.

"Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable?" he asked, and in your flustered state you'd laughed nervously, shaking your head.

"It's fine, it's not that bad," you lied, "it's not your fault, I’m just hungry.”

The way he’d simply smiled at you had made your hands come up to cover his face from your view, urging your heart desperately to calm down.

Feeling him pull your hands down gently, you pursed your lips, making him cast you a very amused look.

"You weren't this shy at the party," he murmured teasingly, making you desperately glance at the owner for help, seeing her prepare to bring your food to you (which you were very thankful for).

"Yeah, well, you didn't necessarily come with a sign that warned me that you're even prettier when I’m fully sober," you laughed, seeing his eyes widen, your words catching him off guard, and you noticed the way his gaze shifted, looking elsewhere as he used one hand to cover his smile. Perhaps... did you just make Johnny Suh... shy?

The owner had come to give the both of you your food, amused at Johnny's flustered state, enjoying seeing this side of him that wasn't the always-calm, flirting-is-his-second-nature exterior he showed her whenever he and his frat brothers would visit the eatery.

"You should be careful with your words too," he finally spoke after gaining back his composure, "might make me think you're interested in me too."

He shoved a fry into his mouth, his cheeks puffing as he chewed and you tried to resist the urge to reach over and pinch his cheeks gently.

You shot him a look, maybe I kind of am, you wanted to say. But for now, you decided on simply nodding in understanding as you ate your food, not having enough guts now to say it to his face.

As you two ate, he'd asked you questions about why you chose your major, even asking you how you got to know Lucas when the both of you are so different, and you actually found yourself growing more comfortable with him as you talked, starting to feel less like he was someone you were intimidated by and more like he was someone that you could see yourself hanging out with in the future (or more, if luck was on your side).

At one point, you'd started to delve into the things that were practically itching at your mind since the mixer you'd gone for, curiosity pushing you to ask him questions about the things the guys had said about him.

"C'mon, don't tell me you've never sort of... you know, wanted to be with someone that you knew you could never actually have?" he defended, the both of your food having been finished long ago, simply nursing your drinks that the owner was kind enough to let you have refills for.

You furrowed your eyebrows, shaking your head at him, "thinking back on it now, i don't think it's ever really… crossed my mind," you told him, knowing that was a big fat lie because here you were looking at Johnny sipping his drink and wondering how good his plump lips would feel on yours.

Johnny rolled his eyes playfully.

"What a bore," he joked.

"Sorry, I guess I’m just not fratboy material," you shrugged with a giggle, making him sigh, bringing his otherwise empty cup to his lips to let an ice cube slide into his mouth.

“It’s a good thing, honestly,” he told you quickly.

"Does it bother you?" he asked, the question catching you off guard as you raised an eyebrow at him, a silent gesture to prompt him to elaborate.

"You know, the fact that I’m associated with that kind of... behaviour," he told you, the mood suddenly growing a little too serious too fast.

You shot him a look, not knowing how he expected you to be honest with him, "Look, it's no secret that you've… you know, built up that kind of reputation for yourself, but I can't lie and say that it doesn't bother me at all."

"What part about it bothers you?"

You were confused at his questions, not expecting him to care about what people thought of him, but you didn't know that this was just a result of him not wanting to disappoint you, wanting to be honest with you about his intentions.

"I don't know," you lied, shrugging and avoiding his gaze, feeling as though you were an open book under the intense stare he was giving you.

Johnny shot you a skeptical look, one that said there was practically no cheating yourself out of this question.

"Be honest, please,” his tone was gentle, pleading. How could you possibly refuse?

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding, "I guess I just… don't know how genuine you're being with me, you know? You have this...ability, to win people over. I can't help it if I find myself wondering why you started approaching me, asking me out on dates like this—"

"So you think it's a date?" just like that, the seriousness of the situation had dissolved slightly, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he smirked at you.

You scoffed.

"I say all of that and that's what you got out of it?"

You shook your head, the owner returning with your receipt and the both of you taking that as your queue to leave.

"Oh, I heard all of it, Y/N, believe me." He said, his tone firm, "and believe it or not, I’m telling you now that everything I’ve done to approach you and get to know you so far was genuine, because I’m very much interested in you, Y/N. Like… for real.” he told you.

"I wouldn't have even made Lucas specially bring you to the party if I didn't mean it."

Your eyes widened at that, making you think back to all the instances where Lucas seemed so confident that Johnny was into you but each time you'd approached him it just seemed like a normal exchange between friends.

"… here?"

You were pulled from your thoughts when you'd heard Johnny speak, looking back at him with a sheepish expression, "Sorry, can you repeat that?"

He gave you a look of mock annoyance, sighing dramatically.

"I said, can I walk you home? I won't impose if you're not comfortable. I just wanna make sure you get home safe, since you live outside campus and all..." he murmured, and if there was a meter for how much you were starting to fall for Johnny, it would've definitely jumped up a little now.

You nodded.

"I'm alright with it," you said simply, shaking your head at the way he tried ( and failed ) to contain his smile, nodding slowly.

"Y/N—"

"Can we play the silent game, please?"

Johnny shut his mouth quickly, nodding and actually proving successful in keeping quiet the rest of the way.

Only when you'd reached your apartment block did he suddenly blurt out, "Okay silent game over!"

"Johnny, you can't just declare—"

"I know but please, just listen, alright? I know given the whole... nature of my love life, if you can even call it a love life, whatever I’ve promised you doesn't seem so… legit. But I swear, it's just... I’m so used to casual flirting that I kind of seem like that boy who cried wolf or help or something... whatever!"

He looked at you with wide eyes, almost desperate to convince you of his intentions.

"I can get why you could feel overwhelmed now, so I’m not expecting any answer from you now...but whatever it is, I’ll respect whatever answer you have to give me, okay? Whether you want to continue getting to know each other… with romantic intentions, or… you know, not."

You looked at him with raised eyebrows in surprise, not knowing what else to do other than to nod, especially with the way he'd seemed as if he was about to lean in, and your breath hitched, but Johnny had pulled away suddenly, nodding at you, his fists clenching behind his back.

"Goodnight, Y/N." he said, promptly leaving before he could mentally kick himself even more.

===

2:51am -lucas help i keep thinking abt what johnny told me during dinner n now i cant sleep-

Lucas 11:02am -meet me at the cafe on your street in fifteen minutes, u can thank me later lol-

Seems like Lucas knew you better than to think you'd actually give up a whole night's sleep for Johnny, ( which you didn't, you'd ended up passing out at 3:30 in the morning ), and you hadn't bothered to read the message properly before putting on whatever you had in arm's reach and brisk walking to the cafe to meet Lucas.

Only Lucas hadn't told you he was going to bring help that came with light brown hair and went by the name of Yuta.

Walking into the cafe, you'd made as if to walk back out when you saw Lucas waving happily at you, smiling as though he totally didn't warn you that a cute boy was gonna see you while you were dressed in your pajama pants and t-shirt, slippers on and hair still messy from sleeping.

"Lucas," you frowned, sitting yourself down at the table and seeing Yuta look at you with a blank expression, nodding his head at you in greeting.

Lucas clapped his hands together with a stupid grin on his face, "Okay, great. So, as I was saying just now, Johnny asked her to dinner—"

Yuta snorted, shaking his head as he kept his gaze on the coffee he was stirring, ice clinking in the cup obnoxiously as your stared, wide eyed and eyebrows furrowed at him in offence that he was laughing at your dilemma.

"Johnny doesn't do dates," Yuta snickered, before realizing the implication of the statement, his mouth pulling into a frown, "forget what I said, continue.”

"Yeah, so then, he tells her that he's really into her and that he won't pressure her to give him a reply now and that he wants her to think about it and shit," Yuta nodded as Lucas had explained, turning to glance at you curiously, a part of him strangely not finding it weird that his friend Johnny would be into this pajama clad, mess of a girl sitting before him.

"Okay, now, as Johnny's close friend, what's your verdict?" Lucas said, tapping a (very loud) drumroll onto the table, thankful that there wasn't many people in the cafe at this time other than other working aged couple who were talking louder than his drumroll.

Yuta looked at you, sipping his drink with an intense gaze scrutinizing you.

"Do you like Johnny?"

You felt your cheeks heat up, "I mean, he's really nice and—"

"Yes or no?" Yuta said again, firmer this time which made you yelp out a "yes!"

Lucas eyed the both of you with a wide smile, covering his mouth in an effort to stifle his amusement, watching Yuta's expression slowly turn brighter, leaning his head back to laugh heartily.

"Great, cause he's totally whipped for you. And in my experience of knowing Johnny for like… two going on three years now, he's a sap, and from what Lucas has told me, he's definitely into you, and not just for a fuck in case that's what you're concerned about," Yuta shrugged, his tone matter-of-fact.

You almost choked at his bluntness, nodding slowly, seeing Yuta shake his head with a small giggle, a very contrasting demeanour from how he usually appeared to strangers.

"Don't be stressed, Johnny's the most genuine guy I’ve met, and when he says something like what he told you, I can assure you he really means it."

Lucas applauded, laughter bubbling from his lips as if he'd been holding it for very long, and you watched as Yuta stood up, giving you a reassuring smile that made you feel like all was good in the world.

"There's gonna be another party at our house tomorrow... yeah, just saying," he winked, leaving you to ponder on what he'd said. All the while, a very smug looking Lucas was looking at you expectantly.

"So what do you have to say now?"

You huffed, rolling your eyes, "Thank you, Lucas."

===

Plucking up whatever courage your emergency counselling session with Yuta had given you, you'd ended up standing outside the frat house, intimidated by the all-too-loud and curse-laced song that was blaring through the house (Lucas practically had to push you in the house in your anxiousness).

Your heart was practically thumping along with the bass as you navigated through the crowd in the living room to reach the kitchen. Making a trip to the kitchen first, you'd gotten a bit of liquid courage in your system, having to force yourself from the snacks table when a group of people initiating body shots had come to invade your personal space.

Thankfully enough (though you were slightly disturbed), you'd spotted Ten in this said crowd, and he'd cast you a smirk before gesturing upstairs, leaning over to you to say (or yell) into your ear.

"Johnny's in his room!" he shouted, adding an "alone!" as an afterthought.

"Why are you telling me that?!" you yelled back, seeing him shake his head, practically shoving you out of the kitchen.

"Why do you think?! Just gooo!"

And so you did, glancing around to make sure the people around you were mostly preoccupied that they wouldn't see you going upstairs, since that area was restricted for guests unless they were invited.

You knocked on the door, hearing a “Go away, Jaehyun, I’m not playing spin the bottle!" that was unmistakeably Johnny, making you laugh, shaking your head.

"Johnny, it's me,” you called, “Y/N. Ten said I could find you here," you winced, accidentally speaking louder than you'd intended to, having gotten used to speaking at a yelling volume while you were downstairs.

It was only a matter of seconds before you'd seen the door open, revealing a messy haired Johnny dressed in a black sleeveless top and shorts, and you'd tried not to let your eyes linger on his exposed thighs, looking back at his hair.

"You cut your hair," you pointed out, seeing his hand go up to his hair with a shy nod, before realizing you were still standing outside his room.

"I did,” he gave you a soft smile, “Hey, come in," he cleared his throat, a million questions in his head about your sudden appearance here.

As if you read his mind, you began.

"Yuta told me that you guys were having a party," you explained your presence here, seeing him remove his laptop from his bed and place it onto his bedside table.

"Didn't expect you to show up, to be honest," he huffed, though the laugh didn't seem to reach his eyes, he'd almost looked worried.

"That's actually kind of why I’m here," you started, feeling a little more confident speaking from where you were standing at his door, "I gave some thought to what you told me the other day."

Johnny’s eyes widened, his hand coming up in a gesture for you to wait.

"Look, before you say anything, I hope you're not being pressured into giving me a response, I really do want you to be sure about your decision," he looked at you from where he stood at his bedside table, searching your face for any sign of an emotion he could place.

"No, really, I’m not. I made up my mind," you told him firmly.

"I wanna give this a shot—"

"It's alright, Y/N, I totally underst- wait, what?"

You couldn't help the huff of laughter that escaped your lips, nodding at him, "Yes, Johnny. I wanna give this a shot."

You saw him bring a hand up to run through his hair, letting out a small sigh, "I'm... really glad to hear that."

He continued, taking steps towards you that you barely noticed with how distracted you were by the triumphant feeling of getting that off your chest

"And, you've really been nothing but nice to me from the start, you didn't try to use me for parties or like... clout or whatever, or even for... other stuff, and I really appreciate that, you know?”

“But that bad part about that is that I don't know what other way to thank you..." you felt your heart start to pick up speed at his proximity, the way all he had to do was just lean over and he would be at a very, very dangerous proximity to you.

"But at the same time, how can I resist?" Johnny looked into your eyes, his stare almost wolfish, looking as though he were 3 steps ahead of you and you didn't even know.

"May I?"

Johnny asked, his voice just slightly louder than a murmur but softer than you'd ever heard him, and he'd brought a hand up slowly, as if testing the waters, taking your unwavering gaze at him to be a good sign as he let his hand cup the side of your jaw, warmth spreading through your neck as his thumb softly caressed your lower lip, letting it spring back gently when he removed his thumb.

How could you refuse, when everything in your body was aching for him to close the gap between your lips and his?

His other hand smoothed down from your shoulder to find its place on your hip, and you watched as he'd began to lean in, letting your eyes flutter closed when you heard him murmur, "relax, baby."

"I haven't done this in a while," you dared to whisper, a small huff of amusement leaving your lips, "I'm going to disappoint you."

He shook his head, a huff of laughter escaping him.

"Indulge me, I’ve been thinking about this for ages now."

He connected his lips with yours, and you'd kissed him back, gasping at the feeling of his hands going to the back of your thighs, urging you to jump as he wrapped your legs around his torso, not breaking the kiss as he led you to his bed so you wouldn't have to kiss with a doorknob poking into your back.

Moving carefully, Johnny sat on his bed, leaning against the headboard with your knees on either side of his hips.

He swiped at your lower lip with his tongue, making you laugh at the sensation, letting him deepen the kiss, hearing knocking at his door, pulling away from him quickly with a start when you heard Yuta's voice.

"Johnny, did you talk to Y/N yet? Lucas said he brought her here but she disappeared."

You gave Johnny a panicked look, seeing him raise an eyebrow at you, moving to press kisses to your jaw, trailing them down your neck, speaking between kisses.

"Go ahead, answer him,” his voice was so intoxicating, you’d almost forgotten what he’d said.

You could practically feel his smile as he rubbed his hands soothingly over your thighs, amused at your shock.

You rest your arm on his shoulder, fingers combing through his hair as you mustered up your voice to reply Yuta, Johnny giving the skin at your neck a light nip at your delay, making you tug at his hair unconsciously, almost eliciting a groan from him.

"Yep, I’m here, Yuta! You can tell Lucas—" you swatted at the back of Johnny's head when he'd blown cold air on the spot on your neck he’d bit just before, making you shiver from the ticklish sensation, "you can tell him everything's fine!"

You heard a pause before Yuta replied with a hum. (though you swore you heard Lucas' tell-tale giggle)

Johnny smiled at you, "where were we?" he used his thumb and forefinger to guide your mouth back to his, feeling him tense up when you let you fingers find purchase in his hair, making you laugh, amused at his reaction.

"I love it when you do that," he sighed, and you'd pulled away, shoving yourself off of him as you flopped onto his bed beside him, Johnny looking down at you with a look full of admiration and a giddy kind of happiness.

You scrunched your nose up at him.

"Hope that didn't disappoint," you laughed, your heart swelling when you heard his own little giggle.

Johnny reached his hand over to run it through your hair, pushing it out of your face, before letting his thumb smooth over the skin of your cheek, shaking his head at you.

"Definitely not. I’m so satisfied I might just ask you to do it again."

===

lucas 2:23am -so....if ure doing all that funny business w johnny....- 2:23am -does this mean we get free passes for parties now?-

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lunapaper · 3 years ago

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Album Review: 'Pink Noise' - Laura Mvula

This is the album Laura Mvula always wanted to make.

‘Making Pink Noise felt like the most violent of emotional wrestling matches,’ she states (via Stereogum). ‘It took 3 years of waiting and waiting and fighting and dying and nothingness and then finally an explosion of sound. As if it was always here this record is my most honest and unapologetic flying of the freedom flag. In my adult years I had forgotten how important dance was to me as a vital tool of my creative expression. I brought it back, just for me, so I could find my delight in dance again. And now I can’t stop dancing.’

After going through a divorce, battling anxiety and being dropped from her label, the British singer turns back time in order to move forward on the neon-streaked Pink Noise (referring to the types of frequencies that are slightly less harsh than white noise).

First single ‘Church Girl’ is a funk-fuelled awakening, with Mvula strutting atop chunky synthesisers and Prince-style guitar stabs. The title track also recalls with its squelchy synths and angular bass.

Opener ‘Safe Passage recalls a time when ‘feeling positive emotions was much simpler, much less complicated,’ swathed in gauzy, HAIM-like atmospherics while maintaining a gospel feel with it soaring harmonies. ‘Remedy’ implores the masses to stand up and take action in response to the Black Lives Matter movement (‘What are you so afraid of?/Don't you know what you're made of?/No time to be patient’), channelling Rhythm Nation-era Janet with slick, industrial Jam and Lewis-style synthwork.

On ‘Conditional,’ she sings ‘Another blow to the ego/A victim of conditional love’ in reference to petty music industry politics. But Mvula is determined rather than defeated, with powdery beats and flourishing sax bursting atop brooding basslines as she prepares to ‘Break the chain to my ego.’

‘Golden Ashes’ offers Mvula’s strongest vocal on the record, warning ‘them scary power people’ who carelessly casted her aside: ‘Don't wait for me to die/You'll be waiting a long time/Even if the walls are caving in/I'll be listening.’

‘Got Me,’ meanwhile, shamelessly borrows from Michael Jackson’s ‘The Way You Make Me Feel’ in the coolest way possible, along with shades of Whitney Houston and Peter Gabriel as Mvula revels in newfound love.

And no 80s-inspired pop album is complete without an appearance from... Simon Neil?

In full power ballad mode, ‘What Matters’ sparkles and soars as the Biffy Clyro frontman provides a soft, gentle echo to Mvula’s own stunning belt, able to hear it in a vaporwave vid (slowed + reverbed, of course) or playing in the background on prom night in a John Hughes flick, complete with a soft focus lens.

Pink Noise sees Mvula follow a similar trajectory to that of Jessie Ware on the equally brilliant What’s Your Pleasure?: Two incredible female artists over 30 who, after being sidelined by a notoriously shallow and fickle industry, end up turning to the dancefloor for inspiration and end up producing their best work yet. You could even draw comparisons with Janelle Monae’s Dirty Computer, which also took a pretty funky turn and was also heavily influenced by Prince.

But Pink Noise is more than just jazzy keytars and a power suit. It’s a personal triumph, giving Mvula a much-needed jolt out of her comfort zone.

Through the making of this record, the singer learned to be ‘my authentic self in whatever room I might be in. I work really hard. I'm stronger than I think I am. Wiser than I thought I was. All I want now is for listeners to take me for who I am.’

And there’s no more powerful statement than that. Bold, fun and defiant, Pink Noise is one damn funky redemption arc...

- Bianca B.

#music #laura mvula #pink noise #new #reviews #albums #Bianca B

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doomedandstoned · 4 years ago

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Spelljammer Reveal Trippy New Vid, Talk ‘Abyssal Trip’

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

Interview by Billy Goate

Cover Art by Aaron Cahill

Our week of big interviews continues as we meet up with the ethereal doom outfit from Stockholm SPELLJAMMER and premiere a new music video, from their just released second LP, dropped only weeks ago on RidingEasy Records and now the number one album on the Doom Charts.

'Abyssal Trip' (2021) is an enthralling listen from edge to center, with lavish textures, deep thematic content, and unforgettably emotive atmosphere that will stick with you for life. Enjoy it as you read the revealing conversation with Niklas Olsson (guitar, vox) and Robert Sörling (guitar) that follows as we unpack their steller new spin, talk nerdy gear shit, and contemplate humanity's fate.

And now, Doomed & Stoned is pleased to bring you the world premiere of the brand new video for that epic third track, "Among The Holy."

Give ear...

Spelljammer - Among The Holy (music video)

You guys have been a band now for damn near 15 years, maybe longer. Most bands don't make it past two years! What is the "key" to the band staying together for so long and continuing to find inspiration for creating new music?

Rob: I don’t think it’s been 15 years just yet but we are getting there, haha. None the less - that’s a really interesting question! Nik and I started the band much because we share the same taste in music, film and, well, art in general. I think that's the core keeping it all together. Also, there have been a few constellations of band members over the years, all with their own dynamic. I think these kinds of changes, and the new directions of the music because of that, is part of the inspiration. Maybe another reason is that we all live in different cities and because of that sometimes a lot of time passes between rehearsals, writing sessions and such, making us always craving for new Spelljammer jams and songs.

Nik: The craving yes. And another reason I think is the fact that we’ve never really been in a rush to get anywhere. Anything Spelljammer, the music included, takes time. If we had been set on making it, this thing probably would have fallen apart a long time ago.

Abyssal Trip by Spelljammer

How did the theme for Abyssal Trip originate?

Nik: I have always been more drawn to the feelings or emotions you get from a riff or piece of music than to any theme of a lyric. But I would say that any themes came in at the lyrics state, which is at the end of the process. But the themes aren’t that specific to any of the albums. I think I cast a pretty wide net in the beginning and stuck to it. For the next album perhaps we will venture more into unchartered waters. We’ll see.

What fascinates you about the Great Abyss of the ocean?

Nik: I totally get that the word abyss conjures up images of ocean trenches and, yes, the ocean is a fascinating and to a large extent undiscovered place. However, when I wrote that I wasn’t necessarily thinking of the ocean but more the abyss of our own minds. But I think it’s a word that evokes many things, like despair and doom, and it is of course totally open to interpretation.

Is mankind doomed or do we have time to correct our course?

Nik: I’m not as pessimistic of a person as the lyrics may suggest. I think we will be here on earth for a long time. Mankind is clever (perhaps too clever for her own good) even if there are a lot of people hell-bent on trying to screw up everything for everybody else.

Rob: Yes, and considering how ignorant and careless (some) people are acting during this pandemic, at least over here, makes you wonder if there’s any hope at all.

Nik: People are the worst. Ultimately, though, none of it matters because we’re all doomed.

Have you guys seen any good movies/documentaries or read any good books lately that inspired you or otherwise challenged your thinking about life, the present, or the future?

Rob: I can’t say that I’ve seen or read anything recently that challenged me significantly, I guess I’m getting too old to be that overwhelmed haha. The film A Ghost Story though was kind of cool though because it was different, slow and weird (in a good way), and for me it’s always inspiring to read/see/hear something that makes you think, "Man, I wish I had come up with that idea”.

Nik: Absolutely! Punch Drunk Love, Moon, and Office Space are definitely movies like that. I have watched so many movies and series through this pandemic and I can’t remember any of them right now. But I did just notice that there is a season 3 of Loudermilk on HBO! If you haven’t already, see it! I’m currently reading "Homeward Bound, The Life of Paul Simon” by Peter Ames Carlin. It’s a good read about one of my favorite musicians.

For recording this album, what kind of gear did you use and what production/engineering considerations did you have to take into account?

Rob: Since we did a remote recording in the countryside we had to use whatever stuff that we could fit into a couple of cars. I have a couple of old audio interfaces that I linked for a total of 16 channels. I also have a small collection of mics (nothing fancy) and we used them all and the rest was borrowed. We set up the drums in the living room and put the guitar and bass rigs as far away as we could (the adjacent rooms) to avoid bleed and just focused on getting the rhythm tracks done. The goal was to get us all in the same room and to catch the vibe from a relaxed rehearsal kind of situation. The bass rig used was a Orange Terror Bass and an Ampeg SVT 810 and the guitar was tracked through a Reval Mark I and/or Orange TH-100 and a Orange PPC 412. Of course there’s always some unforeseen problem lurking and this time it was the electricity in the old country house.

Nik: I don’t use many effects, just a fuzz. For this one I used a Supercollider from Earthbound Audio. It is exactly what the name suggests. That’s all you need really.

The album cover is amazing! It reminds me, in some strange way, of the creature in the old B-movie Robot Monster (1953). What's the story behind the artwork?

Nik: It definitely has a B-movie vibe that I really like. I’m afraid I can’t really tell you much about it other than the artist name is Aaron Cahill and you can find his stuff on Instagram under the name nghbrs.

I filmed your first US appearance at Psycho Las Vegas in 2016. Fans want to know: do you have ambitions of returning to North America once the world sorts out this pandemic?

Rob: Yes, that’s our first and only US appearance so far and we wouldn’t mind at all returning to Vegas or any other part of the US. For now it’s really hard making any plans at all. In fact, you would think that this kind of isolation would enhance creativity, and maybe for some it does, but for us it’s actually been the most unproductive period so far for Spelljammer. So I’m hoping that by the time this thing blows over we get the inspiration back both for writing/recording new music, and in time hopefully revisiting the US!

Nik: I agree, playing at Psycho Las Vegas was a blast. I hope we get another opportunity to come back some day.

Spelljammer at Psycho Las Vegas/a>

Some Buzz

“The vastness of everything is something that I think about a lot,” says Spelljammer bassist/vocalist Niklas Olsson. And it certainly shows in both the expansive, sludgy sounds and contemplative lyrics of the Stockholm, Sweden based trio. Following a 5-year break between their previous album, Ancient of Days — perhaps fittingly spent pondering said vastness — Spelljammer is back with an album that perfectly bridges the band’s earlier desert rock leanings and their later massive, slow-burning riffs.

'Abyssal Trip' (note: carefully reread that album title) takes its moniker from the perpetually dark, cold, oxygen-free zone at the bottom of the ocean. The 6-song, 44-minute album fittingly embodies that bleak realm with rumbling, oozing guitars intercut with dramatic melodic interludes. The songs take their time to unfurl, making them even more hypnotic. Likewise, the lyrics take a poetic approach to establishing the sonic scenery.

“The lyrical themes we address, like the ultimate doom of man, and the search and longing for new and better worlds, are still there,” Olsson says. “The concept of something undiscovered out there in vast emptiness is pretty much always present.”

The recording process for Abyssal Trip differs from previous releases in that the band — guitarist Robert Sörling, drummer Jonatan Rimsbo and Olsson — opted to capture the performances while holed up in the mental bathysphere of a house in the countryside near Stockholm. “The songs benefitted from the relaxed environment of being away from everything,” Olsson explains. Indeed, the album sounds confident and meticulously arranged, afforded by the band’s isolation. Sörling mixed the album and it was mastered by Monolord drummer Esben Willems at Berserk Audio.

Album opener “Bellwether” begins dramatically with a very slow, nearly minute-long fade in of rumbling distortion setting the stage for heavily distorted bass and guitar plucking out the lugubrious riff for another minute and a half before the drums begin, and likewise equally as long before vocals gurgle to the surface. “Lake” abruptly shifts gears, opening with an unusually fast gallop before rupturing into thundering doom that soon drops into a clean-tone Middle Eastern melodic breakdown.

The title track serves as the album centerpiece, opening with ominous film dialogue about blood sacrifice that launches into pummeling, detuned guitars rumbling over gut-punching drums and howling vocals hearkening to the proto-sludge of Pink Floyd’s “The Nile Song.” The dynamic relents briefly for a slow building clean guitar melody before all instruments lock into a jerking riff topped off by a trilling Iommi style lead. Throughout, Abyssal Trip is, just like its title suggests, an epic tour through desolate zones which yields much to discover.

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#D&S Debuts #D&S Interviews #Spelljammer #Stockholm #Sweden #doom #metal #doom metal #music video #HeavyBest2021 #RidingEasy Records #Doomed and Stoned

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shemakesmusic-uk · 4 years ago

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Blending left field jazz elements with club tropes to forge something truly new, Emma-Jean Thackray's work is never less than riveting. New album Yellow is out on July 2, with the composer commenting: “It’s a record about togetherness, the oneness of all things in the universe, showing love and kindness, human connection. I approached the record by trying to simulate a life-changing psychedelic experience, an hour where we see behind the curtain to a hidden dimension, where the physical realm melts away and we finally see that we are all one.” Set to be released via her own Movementt imprint, the album is led by gorgeous new single 'Say Something' - opening with glimmers of Rhodes piano, it leans on that hi-hat shuffle before Emma-Jean Thackray uses her voice to elevate the song. A plea towards communication, it's a powerful introduction. [via Clash]

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Philadelphia punk rockers Mannequin Pussy have released the title track to Perfect, their upcoming EP due out May 21. The new song comes with a flashy music video that’s inspired by the kitschy glamor of Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion, too. Musically, 'Perfect' is a distorted blaze of rock guitars that sees vocalist-guitarist Missy eviscerating the idea that people must manicure their own social media presence. “Last year, I found myself spending more time on my phone than I ever had in my life… I realized that through years of social media training, many of us have grown this deep desire to manicure our lives to look as perfect, as aspirational as possible,” explained Missy in a statement. “We want to put ourselves out there, share our lives, our stories, our day to day — and these images and videos all shout the same thing: ‘Please look at me, please tell me I’m so perfect.’ It’s simultaneously a declaration of our confidence but edged with the desperation that seeks validation from others.” In the accompanying music video, directed by Missy, viewers get to watch as a 10-year reunion at Sugarbush High slowly unravels. It opens on three former classmates, all three of whom are pregnant, dishing some hushed gossip and talking about how they want to get plastic surgery that’s so good they mistake one another for strangers. Cue two students-turned-drag queens making a grand entrance and strutting their stuff on the dance floor (mirroring the 1997 comedy classic) while old classmates gasp, shield their eyes, and panic. Meanwhile, Mannequin Pussy can be seen tearing up the band stage while they perform live. [via Consequence]

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Following the release of her debut EP I Can’t Cry For You in December, Manchester’s Phoebe Green is back with new bop ‘IDK’. “[It] explores a complete detachment from reality, observing things from a place of total apathy and feeling as though I’m witnessing my life as a bystander with little to no connection to it,” Phoebe explains. “It’s a horrible state to be in, I think it happens when I get overwhelmed.” [via DIY]

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Fast-rising French-Korean artist spill tab is unveiling her latest mesmerising single ‘Anybody Else’. Accompanied by a new vid directed by friend and collaborator Jade Sadler, spill tab says, “This song is cheesy as fuck but I love it, it’s pretty straight forward, a little shameless - the lyrics are sort of a way of expressing my love without openly saying I love you. Jade Sadler (the video director) and I just wanted to have a shit ton of fun on this one. We thought about something with narrative or plot and it was just getting to be too corny. I wanted something lighthearted and playful, so we decided we would have all of our homies in this video paired with different colors and angles and set designs. I’m so excited with the way it turned out.” [via DIY]

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Willow Kayne has shared her debut single 'Two Seater'. The Gen Z talent links together huge opposing forces, creating her own potent brand of rebel-pop. New single 'Two Seater' finds Willow blazing a trail, upending convention through melding together differing sounds. The lush, 90s inspired soundscape leans on nostalgic impulses, but her punk-like disregard for convention is sheer pop futurism. Produced by DANIO, it finds Willow Kayne coming into her own completely off the bat. [via Clash]

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BENEE has shared a video for her single ‘Happen To Me’. It’s the latest cut from her debut album, Hey u x, which arrived last November featuring guest spots from the likes of Grimes, Lily Allen and Flo Milli. “This song is super important to me,” she says. “It’s the opening track [on the album]. It’s the first song where I’ve written about anxiety. The lyrics are pretty dark. Life is pretty crazy right now, and I think it’s important to talk about this kind of stuff.” Of the video, she adds: “Stoked to be sharing this music video with everyone! I filmed it with a bunch of mates, and it was the coolest set! Hope you love it as much as I do.” [via Dork]

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Los Angeles-based art-pop artist Kit Major has shared the music video for 'When the Drugs Don't Work,' a more introspective stab at her signature dark, electropop sound. Blending driving dance beats and thumping hyperpop-influenced synths, Kit Major creates an intoxicating elixir of soundbites and grit. Taking inspiration from Charli XCX, Billie Eilish, and Charlotte Lawrence, 'When the Drugs Don't Work' dives into the overwhelming vulnerability and panic of failing to curb a depressive episode with medication. With this release, Kit Major furthers her efforts to be open and make light of her mental health struggles. On the video, Kit Major shares, "'When The Drugs Don't Work' was filmed in one weekend, directed by my best friend in my departed grandparents' now empty house. We filmed this in quarantine without a crew and worked to create a dark & twisted fairytale together. When I first started thinking about the video, I knew I wanted a more lighthearted take to balance the darker theme of my mental health in the song. I wrote the lyric, “little princess hurt locked away inside her palace,” because sometimes when I'm isolated in my room I visualize myself as a Disney princess running inside her castle, instead of being in my bed, surrounded by empty water bottles. This song was written from a mix of different perspectives including my own, my persona, and outside voices. I think we accomplished the storytelling behind WTDDW by portraying the importance of imagination and trusting yourself." Alongside, director Noël Dombroski adds, "WDDW is a raw, introspective song from Kit that shines a light on parts of herself that at times may be hard to face. We were lucky enough to be able to shoot at Kit's late grandparents' house, an emotionally significant location that acts in the video as the inside of Kit's head. We wanted to challenge viewers to look at every facet of themselves and realize that each part is valuable, even if you may not like it. A conversation we had a lot was about the color scene, where the image of Kit is being pulled apart by color channels. You may hate one of those colors, but you still need it to create that full image. The same can sometimes be said about depression - it may be a layer of yourself that you don't care for, but without that experience, I don't know that WDDW could exist." The music video dives into the psychological turmoil at the heart of the track with a hyperstylized touch. Spotlights wander through a funhouse version of Kit's childhood home, hunting down our protagonist, who we find trapped behind bars, downing teardrops from teacups and champagne from the bottle. Simultaneously unnerving and stimulating in a Paranormal Activity-meets Alice in Wonderland aestheticism, the music video for 'When the Drugs Don't Work' dives into the floating images of a mental breakdown with a fever dream lucidity.

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Number One Popstar continues to prove herself as a powerhouse, shaking up the music world with her fresh, unapologetic beats. This week, she shares another one, her new single 'Forever 21.' And no, it’s not about clothes. 'Forever 21' begins with a kicking beat, but subdued with reflective, twinkly keys. It’s a perfect mix of existential dread and dance. Carrying this vibe throughout, it breaks in between with a beaming guitar-driven bridge. Lyrically, the track makes us question why brands and media make it seem like our twenties are our prime, when we still have our whole lives ahead of us? Despite the effervescent pop sound, Hollowell got vulnerable about her past and its effect on the song, saying, "I initially started writing 'Forever 21' when I found myself looking back on my early 20’s, wanting to recapture the hopeful and dumb feelings of my youth. But the longer I spent on the song, the more it became a reflection of the loss I faced when my parents passed away in my early 20s. I started looking at my own fear of death, of dying like them. I really didn’t know where my life was headed back then. […] I eventually turned that painful experience into a motivation to go after everything I wanted in life. To be seriously less serious, recognizing everything is fleeting.” Like her other music videos, Hollowell likes to flip popular culture and societal expetations on their head. While also bringing the fear of aging to life, she also reminds audiences to stay present instead of holding on to youth. [via Earmilk]

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Following in the footsteps of Prince and Lizzo, Dizzy Fae is set to become the Twin Cities’ next pop sensation. She just dropped her brand new track, 'BODY MOVE', and much like the name suggests, it will make you want to move. Self-described as alternative R&B, Fae takes a few notes from contemporary hyperpop artists like Charli XCX and Doja Cat with an industrial iciness that plays off the technicolor pop melodies. It’s an influence you can hear on 'BODY MOVE', produced by New York’s Stelios (Young Thug, SZA). The track builds itself off a snappy, rubber band bass line indebted to pop’s recent disco revival. “It’d be so cruel if I didn’t let my body move,” Fea’s voice loops through a robotic filter. A buzzing drum machines barrels in at the chorus, transforming the lightly retro groove to a futuristic club track more akin to the production styles of 100 gecs. But for all the modern influences, the Ying Yang Twins reference shows she’s a student of all types of music. [via Consequence]

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Technically, 'Your Power' is not the lead single from Billie Eilish’s newly announced album Happier Than Ever. The album includes two songs she released last year: the jazzy, well received ballad 'my future' and the contemptuous multi-format radio hit 'Therefore I Am.' However, 'Your Power' is the first song Eilish has released since announcing the new album, debuting her new look, and officially commencing her LP2 era, so there’s definitely a deep sense of anticipations around the song. Eilish teased 'Your Power' this week with a brief sound snippet featuring acoustic guitar and the words “Try not to use your power” sung to a Feist-y melody. Now the full song and its Eilish-directed music video have arrived. The completed record remains as soft, pretty, and devastatingly sad as the preview audio. In the clip, a slow pan across a mountainside in the Simi Valley reveals Eilish in the clutches of a gigantic snake. (A press release specifies that it’s an 80-pound anaconda.) [via Stereogum]

#videos of the week #emma-jean thackray #mannequin pussy #phoebe green #spill tab #willow kayne #benee #kit major #number one popstar #dizzy fae #billie eilish

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am-imagines · 5 years ago

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Got Moves. - Alex Morgan Imagine.

Requested by an anon: his kinda sounded better in my head buttt, could you do one where Alex and the reader are dating and the reader and the younger girls go out to the club while everyone else stays at the hotel for a chill day. And then the girls get really drunk that the reader starts dancing/twerking at the club and no one knew she could dance like that and posted it to social media. And they don’t remember what happened the next day. so then when the team reunites the next day, they tease the reader

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” You ask Alex.

The team is getting ready for a fun evening, but while you and some of the youngsters want to go clubbing, the rest are happy to stay behind and have some pool fun. It’s been some time since you had a drink, and even longer from the last time you had a chance to properly dance.

In all honesty, the team has never seen your moves. In a way, you’re grateful for that. No one knows what they would do with that intel, but you’re pretty sure the teasing would be endless. Maybe they would try to start some sort of competition between Sonnett and you. Not trying to brag but, you would win without a doubt.

“I’m sure. Have fun, okay? Don’t let them break the law.”

You chuckle at her words and nod.

Even when you’re missing her already, you understand she needs some time for herself after dealing with people day in and day out. As much as she’d like to have some privacy in town, she’s Alex Morgan; everyone wants a piece of her.

Media is exhausting as it is, and you’re not gonna ask her to sacrifice the little free time you have just for a drink.

“I’ll try my best.”

There’s a smile on your lips when you lean down to kiss her. Her arms wrap around your neck as she brings you closer. Truthfully, you could do that all day long. And you would; if Rose and Mal hadn’t convinced you to go with them. O’Hara doesn’t count like an adult when alcohol is involved. She would drink her way around a concussion if left unsupervised.

“Y/N! You coming?”

Lavelle’s voice breaks the spell. You pull back reluctantly much to Alex’s amusement. The fact she wants you to have fun doesn’t mean she won’t try to keep you there as long as possible. So, she kisses you again until you forget about the girls.

“Y/L!”

“Go,” Alex says this time. “You don’t want to keep them waiting.”

“Are you sure?” You ask, leaning down to steal another kiss.

“Oh my God. Y/L! You and Janice can make up for this hard separation with sex when we get back. Now, hurry up! The car is here.”

With a sigh, you let Alex go as she chuckles with that mischievous glint in her eyes. That woman drives you crazy in all the right ways; unlike Kelley.

“Real classy, O’Hara!” You shout over your shoulder. “Have you ever heard of love?”

“I have, but that doesn’t mean our face holes are attached together all the damn time.”

You shake your head at that. There’s no way to win with an impatient Kelley. You should’ve known, but when you kiss Alex, it’s easy to forget everything else.

“Love you,” you mouth to Alex while you’re dragged away by a bunch of teenagers.

By the time you make it to the car, you start wondering if their ID’s are fake.

***

The club is packed, but there’s always space for the USWNT. They make space in a private area where the girls and you can do almost anything you want. You claim a corner of the dance club with a drink in hand, that’s enough for the fun to start.

The neon lights flash along with the music, and you follow the girls as they “dance”.

You’re basically jumping on the spot while moving your arms around; barely ducking in time before Sam wacks you in the face. It’s fun even when their rhythm sucks. Someone puts another drink on your hand as you keep fooling around. You enjoy the moment among the younglings of the team, and wonder if this is how it feels to be a parent.

The songs blend together, but at some point the beat drops. You can feel the bass in every single atom of your body, and you smirk.

The beat calls you with its sensuality, and before you know it, your body moves on its own accord. You wish Alex would be there. You would guide her back to your booth and give her a lap dance she couldn’t forget.

You would tease her with the dangerous move of your hips as you flow with the wavelength of the music around you. It fills your body with a different kind of energy; provocative by nature. It feeds your primal side, and you simply don’t have to think.

Your hips sway with that instinct as if luring a prey that isn’t there. The bass leads the way until you’re fully immersed in that moment; going down while your shoulders invite to the touch that won’t come.

It’s such a pity Alex decided to stay at the hotel. She would have liked this song.

Who knows? Maybe you could have convinced her to ditch the girls and go back to your shared room. Instead, you’re doing shots with Kelley until she’s wasted.

She’s laughing uncontrollably; trying to get into the table for God knows what reason.

Rose, Mal and Sam are on their phones, talking among themselves about something you can’t hear above the music. They don’t even notice when you approach, and that seems like a good time as any to call it a night.

Only then you realize you’re phone is nowhere to be seen. Thinking about it, you didn’t have it with you leaving the hotel. It’s probably forgotten somewhere in your room, and you blame Kelley for that. Yes, technically you were too busy kissing Alex to even think about the damn phone. But maybe you would have remembered if O’Hara wasn’t rushing you so damn much.

“Lavelle, can you call an Uber?”

“On it,” she says without looking at you.

“Damn, Y/n! You got moves! Can you teach me some of those?” Mal asks.

“Maybe next time,” you answer with a smirk.

“Oh, I bet certain forward would really really like to see them,” Kelley adds before winking with both eyes.

Totally wasted.

“O’Hara?”

“What?”

“Shut the hell up.”

***

You wake up groggy the next morning; not hungover but you’ve definitely had better days.

Alex is nowhere to be seen, but she left a note telling you she’ll see you at breakfast. You groan after reading it, and cuddle into her pillow for five more minutes. This would be the perfect time to cuddle with her instead of the pillow, but that can’t really happen now.

You leave bed, shower and change before starting a hunt for coffee, love, and food in that specific order. The slight headache reminds you exactly why you don’t drink that much anymore.

Everyone turns their attention to you as soon as you enter and you wonder what’s going on as you shamelessly sit down on Alex’s lap. She’s your girlfriend, she’s offering you a steaming cup of coffee, and they can suck it.

It’s not like Kelley is going to move when she’s slumped all over the table; probably half dead. And you’re not going to sit on Tobin’s; Press would probably try to murder you.

“Did I miss something?” You ask when the team keeps giving you weird looks.

“Oh, God. She doesn’t remember,” Rose mutters into her orange juice.

“Remember what?”

“Yesterday we went to a club.”

That’s extremely unhelpful and you roll your eyes at that. You turn to face Alex, but she won’t meet your eye. Oh, now you really want to know what’s happening if it makes Alex fucking Morgan act like that.

“Yeah, I know. I remember Sam almost gave me a black eye while we had to drag Kelley away from the table. Her dancing is not the kind that should be broadcast.”

Alex looks up at that; eyes darker than they were a moment ago. Interesting.

The girls laugh at your comment but still, you’re even more confused. Apparently, there’s something you can’t remember even when the night is clear on your head.

“Have you checked your Insta?” Christen finally throws you a bone.

“I don’t know where’ my phone is.”

After a soft kiss, Alex lets you borrow hers to check your mentions and sure enough; there’s a vid of a very specific dance you remember. What you can’t recall is; the exact moment they started recording.

“I didn’t know you could dance like that,” Sonnett chimes.

“Yeah, no offense, but that was the point.”

You poke Kelley’s side but she doesn’t react until the fifth time.

“What do you want?”

“Why the fuck did you record me?”

“Al deserved to see it.”

“You ever heard of DM’s?”

“With the way you hog each other in public, I thought you wouldn’t mind.”

You don’t have a comeback for that so you solely wait until Kelley is dozing off again before pouring half a glass of ice cold water into her head.

“What the hell?” She shouts jerking awake just to glare at you.

“I hate you.”

“No, you fucking don’t.”

“Shows us the moves, Y/n!” Ash interrupts your staring contest with Kel.

“Sorry, those are reserved for number thirteen only.”

“Do I get to see them now?” Alex whispers.

So, that’s it. You knew she would have liked that dance. And you don’t mind putting on a very private show for her. However, it wouldn’t be good for your reputation to give on so easily.

“Tell you what, win the scrimmage today and I’ll see what I can do.”

Appealing to Alex’s competitiveness is like playing with fire, but you plan to burn.

“Game on.”

“You two are seriously disgusting.”

“O’Hara?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll shut the hell up.”

#Alex Morgan imagine #alex morgan imagines #alex morgan x reader #uswnt imagine #requested #fulfilled prompt

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ridiculoustrainsofthought · 4 years ago

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I've been on a Wind in the Willows binge which has lead to looking at several versions. But when I went looking for movies, all I could remember of the one from my childhood was like a voice clip from the Wild Wood scene and this song. But WitW is in the public domain so there's dozens of versions and readings to sift through so it ended up being like "Uh... I guess the song is the same as the title so that doesn't help." And it's funny because much like the actual song in the book, this song has teased at the back of my mind over the years where I might recall parts of the melody but only bits of the words and could never piece it together.

For anyone wondering about the visuals in the vid, the "Wind in the Willow" is actually never name dropped in the book turns out. But there's a chapter called "The Piper at the Gates of Dawn" which is one of two chapters that have almost no connection to the rest of the story. It's like a standalone piece with the characters helping a friend of theirs find his lost son, living along the river they were all starting to fear the worst, but while helping in the search Ratty suddenly hears a sort of "calling". And taking a side stream they make their way to a massive willow tree where they find the babe being protected by none other than Pan. Which if iirc Pan is a God of Nature or demigod or something along the lines? But the pair, Ratty and Mole are struck in such awe and light they give worship to him and "The Piper" slips away and plays a song to make everyone forget the encounter because little animals have enough troubles in the world to be in fear and wonder of beings like him around the forest. But even as they row away confused to what just happened, Ratty (who was strangely sensitive to things already. The others joke it's just the poet in him) still hears the words to the song, then the melody, then he just passes out.

I bring this up because it leads to another chapter, called Wayfarers All, that also seems to be a standalone piece separate from the rest of the book. Ratty also has an episode where he seems to be struggling with depression. Starting off the chapter by saying he'd been losing interest in a lot of the things he usually loves, and goes looking for anyone to hang out with him. But it's the end of summer and like any tourist town, everyone (The birds, the mice, and so forth) are all packing up to move southward for the fall. So they don't have time to deal with him. Eventually he gets into a bout of jealousy and goes up to the road to wonder about all the travelers and happens upon a Sea Rat (Ratty being a water rat himself) and gets to talking with the old sailor about "the calling" since the sea rat had been staying at a farm but it's time to get back to port. Just his way.

And then it gets into this sorta dream sequence thing with Ratty seeing his life aboard ships and in far away cities and the book doesn't specify the sea rat asking him to come with but in his state he's sure he did and when he comes out of the dream, the old sea rat is gone so I've half a mind to wonder if he was ever really there. But Ratty is somewhat possessed and runs home muttering about going south, grabs like a few treasures and some food and was about to run out the door when Mole tackles him to the ground to stop him and get him to explain what the hell has come over him. And honestly??? Ratty doesn't know. He just finds himself trying to explain his day to Mole before he starts just sobbing. So Mole tries to comfort him by reminding him of everything he'd miss if he left. And this time of year, would be dangerous. And then tries to cheer him up with making plans for the winter and when Ratty seems to have stopped crying but gone listless over the matter, Mole brings up he hadn't worked on his poetry for a while. Maybe that would make him feel better? And he brings over a pen and paper, which Ratty shoves off at first, but when Mole comes by to check on him later, he seemed to be working after all. (And honestly, I think Mole would know. He left home on a whim one morning, met up with his new friends, and spent nearly a year away before realizing how homesick he was.)

The combination of the two chapters fascinates me. Mostly in that every version I’ve watched seems to handle these two chapters differently (IF they get used at all because, again, they seem disconnected to the rest of the plot and could easily be removed with none the wiser.) The Rankin-Bass version the video is from ties the two chapters together where one leads into the other. My favorite version of the movies has a nod to Wafarers All at the end of their first summer and then having the Piper at the Gates of Dawn much later. And then another version had Piper first then gets into Wayfarers some time later. And I honestly can’t decide which combination I like better.

Having Piper first and then Wayfarers later is how it is in the actual book. And versions that have it this way make me feel like it implies something actually happened to Ratty in that incident. He’s shown to be very well tied to the river, almost to a point he doesn’t know what to do with himself if he’s not near it. It’s his everything. But then after this run in with the Piper, he has this call to the sea almost like his ties to the river have been heightened to a point where he wants to follow the waters wherever they lead. But having Wayfarers happen before Piper could just as well imply he’s always had a heightened sense of things and the “episode” of him feeling possessed by something greater to him and then after being jolted back to reality this feeling of being lost to some siren song could help explain his actions in Piper and how he just knows where to go even if he’d never been to that area before.

And I’m just seriously rambling at this point, but I wanted to get this out somewhere. I love these guys so much <3

#Wind in the Willows #Piper at the Gates of Dawn #Wayfarers All #Ratty #moley #Rankin-Bass

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kingofthewilderwest · 6 years ago

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I'm so jealous of your instrument corner! Have you ever or will you ever post a recording of you playing? I'm very eager to hear you! The only instrument I currently have is a bass clarinet. I used to play flute, viola, and piano, and I want a cello very badly.

Oh my goodness, you play so many instruments too, and I can’t believe that we have so much overlap in what instruments we play! Flute, viola, and piano are definitely the instruments I’ve performed the most on, with flute and piano being my old competitive instruments when I was more directly involved in music circles. MULTI-INSTRUMENTAL MUSICIANS UNITE! You sound so awesome and musical, bless you. Also? Bass clarinets are LEGIT, what a great instrument, that’s so cool.

And thanks so much for asking to hear me play! I guessss I do have a cringey outdated video of me playing through most of my instruments... but let’s be real, that vid needs to be redone and it might be better forgotten. XD Another video where I played several of my instruments (12 of ’em) is a TML cover I did, though I did that in one spontaneous afternoon rushed and you can tell hahahaha my intonation OUCH. But lots of people have been really nice about that cover and ahhhhh I feel really touched for all the listens and reblogs and comments and stuff!!! Thank you guys!

I am, however, in the process of arranging a cover of a video game tune - and the cover will include most if not all of my instruments, including my newest babies (don’t expect miracles on the guitar, didgeridoo, and ukulele, but they will be there haha!). It’ll even [gasp] have me singing [bigger gasp]. I plan for the cover to be polished. I’m not sure how soon that cover will be out - it’s months yet, let’s be real, but that will be a recording of me playing! I’ll be posting it online on YT and tumblr (both my main blog and lefthanded-sans), and hopefully it’ll sound good.

#blabbing Haddock #music #my music #non-dragons #ask #ask me #TML #The Miraculous Ladybug #ML #Miraculous Ladybug #my stuff #evilwriter37

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callunavulgari · 6 years ago

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“In the past I lay out on the land Stretched my legs felt my chest expand If we could flow together someday Then we will float away”

Heather’s Top 25 50 Songs of 2018!

guts — alex winston // sweet dreams — mark hadley // africa — toto // go to war — nothing more // smallest light — ingrid michaelson // my friends — oh wonder // knocking on heaven’s door — raign // rememberance — balmorhea // hazy shade of winter — hidden citizens // time after time — joseph william morgan // live in the moment — portugal. the man // killmonger — ludwig goransson // daddy issues — the neighbourhood // no roots — alice merton // run for your life — k.flay // play with fire — sam tinnesz // the sailor song — autoheart // warrior — steve james // IV. sweatpants — childish gambino // hello — via audio // daddy — emeli sande // paradise valley — honey and the sting // attila the king — nick glennie-smith // foolish — lauren shippen // experience — ludovico einaudi // singing in the rain — through juniper vale // hello stranger — barbara lewis // end credits suite — nicholas britell // ahead by a century — the tragically hip // achilles come down — gang of youths // without you — leslie odom jr. // natural — imagine dragons // sky full of song — florence & the machine // broken people — logic & rag’n’bone man // flesh and bone — black math // nina cried power— hozier // kol nidrey — the yuval ron ensemble // stronger — the score // rise like a phoenix — conchita wurst // heroes — mans zelmerlow // cut to the feeling — carly rae jepson // the greatest show — hugh jackman // the plains/bitter dancer — fleet foxes // always starting over — idina menzel // if i could turn back time — cher // new rules — dua lipa // fernando — cher // it’s quiet uptown — kelly clarkson // movement — hozier // seasons of love — rent cast

short version | long version

so, fun fact. if you start a playlist in january and add a song every time you really love it or find yourself listening to it a lot, by december you find yourself with... a very, very large playlist. 261 songs, 17 hours and 17 minutes large to be precise. which hey, last year the mix was 262 so that’s a pretty spot on average.

i sort of prefer the long one, but i mean, hey. there’s large playlists, and then there’s listing all 261 songs. so i broke it down into a moderately more digestible abridged version with only 50 songs. if you want the original playlist, the link is there. have fun. til then though, here’s my 50 most played.

i. guts || alex winston i know you're a liar, throw me into the fire man i should have known, i should have known god damn you're a liar, threw me into the fire

This song is one of those where the catchy jingle sort of hides that the meat of it is relatively dark. It’s a gorgeous song, one that I listened to for most of January, and off and on throughout the rest of the year. Alex Winston’s voice is like a dream. ii. sweet dreams || mark hadley ft. dresage Hold your head up Keep your head up, movin' on

This song I actually listened to a lot at the tale end of 2017, because it was released as part of the Wrinkle In Time trailer and it was absolutely gorgeous. This year, I found it on a Stranger Things fanvid and it’s been on my Stranger Things mix ever since.

iii. africa || toto I hear the drums echoing tonight But she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation She's coming in, 12:30 flight The moonlit wings reflect the stars that guide me towards salvation

Speaking of songs that are on my Stranger Things playlist... I’m kind of at a loss as to why this got so freaking popular this year. I mean, it is a truly dope song and I’m super fond of it but like. Was it Stranger Things? Did it just become that anthem of the year? For me, it was that I wrote fanfiction to it and also we played it on loop while we were playing beer liquor pong on vacation. It was... super surreal. iv. go to war || nothing more Hush, my baby, make no sound Maybe we can wait each other out It's a cold war Let's go to war So, this song I actually heard driving home from my friend Alex’s after marathoning a few episodes of The Flash and it just hit me super hard. I mean, it’s a great song for my kind of ships, but also, it’s just a great song. v. smallest light || ingrid michaelson Just because you don't see us Doesn't mean that we don't exist Sometimes the smallest light Shines so bright I think I originally found this song on the Watercast playlist on spotify? And I really liked it, because I like most of the songs on that playlist, but like. I was driving to work one day and like, just got hit with the biggest plot bunny for Will and El as siblings. And like, I just had that bunny and this song percolating in my head for the rest of the day, and the song just kind of stuck with me. This song is Will and El’s anthem. vi. my friends || oh wonder Can I beat within your heart? Can I bleed within your love? Oh my friends

Okay, so like show of hands- who here has read We Were Liars? This is a mostly hypothetical question because I’m not sure anyone actually pays attention to these anymore but I like them, so fuck it. Point is, I was listening to the watercast playlist a lot while reading that book and this song was playing when we made certain discoveries that most of us had already guessed, and it made me cry. vii. knocking on heaven’s door || raign It's gettin' dark, too dark to see I feel I'm knockin' on heaven's door

This fanvid happened around the time I was writing that Will and El as siblings fic and I basically played it and the video that inspired the next song on the list on repeat until I finished. This cover is lovely and haunting and just, such a freaking earworm.

viii. remembrance || balmorhea instrumental Yeah, this is the video. I actually used this song in a fanvid of my own a couple years ago, when I got to make a fanvid for @iki-teru‘s fantastic Yuffie-centric fic All Through the Circling Years which... I can no longer find, so maybe it was taken down? Either way, I loved the song immensely before, but that fanvid with Hopper is so fucking tragic and beautiful. ix. hazy shade of winter || hidden citizens Seasons change with the scenery Weaving time in a tapestry Won't you stop and remember me

There... are a lot of songs on here that are also on my Stranger Things playlist. And I’m a sucker for haunting covers. x. time after time || joseph william morgan If you fall I will catch you, I will be waiting Time after time This is the last of the Stranger Things songs. Well, at least the last of the ones that aren’t Harringrove related. Another fanvid that caught me off guard, because just. Damn. There are so many beautiful fanvids for this fandom, it kills me dead. xi. live in the moment || portugal. the man Come back Sunday morning With that soul to sell When you're gone Goodbye, so long, farewell Not 100% sure where I first heard this one, but it stayed with me for a good portion of the spring and summer. I discovered their song feel it still around this time last year too, so clearly they’re just a real good jam for when you want to feel the sun on your back. xii. killmonger || ludwig goransson instrumental

There are a couple songs from the Black Panther soundtrack on the longer version of this mix, three from the score and one, maybe two from the credits. I freaking loved that movie so damn much, but it’s soundtrack blew my goddamn mind. It is literally all I listened to for weeks, and this song in particular fucked me right the hell up. Just listen to the flutes and the bass. Just, damn. Killmonger, you’ve got the best theme in the entire movie. xiii. daddy issues || the neighbourhood I'd do whatever I could do I'd run away and hide with you I love that you got daddy issues And I do too And heeeere it is. This was the first song that I associated with Harringrove for uh, very obvious reasons. Definitely had this and a few others on repeat whenever I had to write sexy scenes for the boys. xiv. no roots || alice merton I like digging holes and hiding things inside them When I'll grow old, I hope I won't forget to find them 'Cause I've got memories and travel like gypsies in the night

This song hits the same part of me that fell absolutely in love with Guts when I first heard it. Alice Merton’s voice is just fantastic. xv. run for your life || k.flay Bite off the venomous head Follow the chemical scent Look for the hole in the fence Take everything you demand

I got to see K.Flay in concert sometime late last year, and even though I didn’t know her very well (I told my friend that I’d see K.Flay with him if he saw Glass Animals with me) her music was sweet enough that I could appreciate the concert even knowing none of the songs. Let me tell you though, I fucking wish she’d played this song then because holy fuck. xvi. play with fire || sam tinnesz Insane, inside the danger gets me high Can't help myself got secrets I can't tell I love the smell of gasoline I light the match to taste the heat Kuroshitsuji is something I haven’t really thought about in like half a decade. And then I ended up seeing this vid while I was waiting for my connecting plane to arrive so I could go see my family. I only saw the damn thing because it was made by the same person who did this one, which I hunted down because I was reading Yuri On Ice fic on the plane and the point is: pingvi is amazing and all of their vids are a goddamn delight. xvii. the sailor song || autoheart I was your sailor, your demon Your lover, your overbearing best friend Hoping for some attention

So, while I was down visiting my family sometime during the spring, I had a brief dizzying spiral where I fell head over face into the Pacific Rim fandom, because Uprising quite emphatically fucked me up. Anyway, because of this I spent the night after I saw it scrolling through fanart and reading half a decade old fanfiction while my brother was trying to make me pay attention to him. And yeah, that’s how I found this art and listened to this song for like the rest of the fucking year. xviii. warrior || steve james I got my head high, my chest out, my eyes open wide I got no fear, got no doubt and, god, I feel alive I'm not stopping for ya, I'm a fucking warrior

My brother showed me a bunch of fanvids on my first day down there, but my favorite was this one, because I’d recently watched Little Witch Academia and this was so freaking cute and all kinds of lovely. xix. iv. sweatpants || childish gambino Rich kid, asshole: paint me as a villain

Another thing that happened to me that week was the discovery of lipgallagher’s fantastic harringrove fic (shoot the lights out, hide) till its bright out. Which is all kinds of great and lead me to this song and the realization that Donald Glover does music? xx. hello || via audio How could it be Someone could find me Too scary to say hello to This was one of the songs on Damien’s fanmix from The Bright Sessions. And because The Bright Sessions suckerpunched me with feelings, I spent like a month straight listening to that mix and getting into that garbage man’s headspace. It was wonderful. xxi. daddy || emeli sande He's out your system yeah it took you a while You got your family back and you got your smile And you promised your sister that you'd never go back again I spent the better half of this year shipping Harringrove and Mark/Damien, which are both ships that are... well, not exactly the healthiest of relationships. Mark/Damien fucking ruined me. Listening to the last bit of The Bright Sessions was basically physically painful because like, okay. Logically I know that Damien is a garbage person. But also, he’s got a shitty power that would lead to some pretty interesting moral dilemmas even if you were a normal nice person (cough cough Mark), and like. They’re both so fucked up and Damien is so in love with Mark even if he’s not entirely sure how to be a fucking person and I have never had a pairing come after me as hard as this one did. Like it really came after me. Anyway, this was my true Damien/Mark anthem, because it’s fucking perfect and awful and fantastic and I just want them back in my life, guys.

xxii. paradise valley || honey and the sting In the past I lay out on the land Stretched my legs felt my chest expand If we could flow together someday Then we will float away

This here is my most played track of 2018. I first heard it during the special two hour episode of Wolf 359 and the whole end of that episode just blew my mind. So I immediately went to spotify, found it, and have basically listened to it all year since then. It helps that Nick loves it too, so every once in a while he’ll be playing it, which reminds me why I love it and just. It’s so soulful and beautiful.

xxiii. attila the king || nick glennie-smith instrumental

Yeah, I literally have no idea how this made it to the top 50 much less the top five, but apparently it did. It is really good writing music, but still.

xxiv. foolish || lauren shippen The impossible happens every day No matter what you do it won’t go away Don’t ask for more But then what are you waiting for

This was my year for podcasts - in one year I fell in love with Wolf 359, The Bright Sessions, and EOS 10 all over again when it came back for its third season. Near the end of the series though, The Bright Sessions did a musical episode! I listened to it in my car on my way to work and basically spent the entire freaking time smiling like an idiot. Truly my favorite episode. xxv. experience || ludovico einaudi instrumental

The Sense8 finale came out in June and it was absolutely wonderful. This song was playing during the last scene of the series and I fucking cried my eyes out. The song itself is fucking gorgeous, but what’s more is it made that last scene so much more than it would have been if they’d chosen any other song. It truly was, and forgive the corniness, a fucking experience. xxvi. singing in the rain || through juniper I'm singin' in the rain Just singin' in the rain What a glorious feeling I'm happy again I went through a phase in June-July where I checked out a bunch of old movies from the library. The first one was Philadelphia, because it was mentioned in the musical episode of The Bright Sessions and I just really wanted to watch it? But I also picked up Singing In The Rain, because I’d never seen it before and just, damn. I watched it before work and it was raining that day and the drive to work was the most fun because I just listened to different covers of the song and sang my heart out, and I was just so damn happy. It was dumb, and nice, and it probably going to be one of my happiest memories that I take with me into the new year. xxvii. hello stranger || barbara lewis Hello, stranger (ooh) It seems so good to see you back again How long has it been? (ooh, seems like a mighty long time)

I also watched Moonlight sometime in late June. It was one of those quiet nights where nothing really seems good enough, where you feel just a little bit empty inside and nothing is helping. So I watched the movie and read @notbecauseofvictories‘s A Cornstalk Fiddle on my back porch afterwards and the movie combined with the fic and the music turned that quiet empty night into something just as quiet, but a million times more full. Another good memory from 2018 that’ll stay with me for awhile.

xxviii. end credits suite | nicholas britell instrumental From the end credits of Moonlight - I played both this and Hello Stranger on repeat while I finished up the fic I mentioned above.

xxix. ahead by a century | the tragically hip No dress rehearsal This is our life

I watched Anne With An E. I was sad a lot at the time, and got to a part early on in the second season that kind of lead me into an uncomfortable headspace so I actually still haven’t finished it? But it was really nice for awhile, and I hope to go back and finish it sometime.

xxx. achilles come down | gang of youths Just humour us, Achilles, Achilles, come down Won’t you get up off, get up off the roof?

I’m not 100% sure where I found this song either? My gut reaction is that it was a song I found while I was reading either The Cruel Prince or The Goblin Emperor, but I’m not sure. Good song, though.

xxxi. without you | leslie odom jr. The earth turns The sun burns But I die Without you

Oh man, I found this cover one night while I was reading, and like, I was reading, so at first I didn’t really process what I was hearing, just that it was familiar and that I liked it. And then my brain connected the dots and I looked up and saw that it was a cover by Leslie Odom Jr and immediately restarted the song and just listened.

xxxii. natural | imagine dragons Deep inside me, I'm fading to black, I'm fading Took an oath by the blood of my hand, won't break it I can taste it, the end is upon us, I swear Yeah. I like Imagine Dragons. Honestly though - this one might not have made the cut if I hadn’t heard it a few months later on an EOS 10 playlist.

xxxiii. sky full of song | florence & the machine Grab me by my ankles I've been flying for too long I couldn't hide from the thunder In the sky full of song So, a while back there was that video going around where Florence literally sang this song while a storm started up around her, and like, that was the first time I heard this song? That was the first I heard that she even came out with a new album, so I basically sat down and listened to the whole thing, but this one was still my favorite.

xxxiv. broken people | logic & rag’n’bone man Broken we ain't beaten There's no glory in defeat We won't fall into the cracks between our streets

I uh, may have watched a couple fanvids after Infinity War. This was one of them.

xxxv. flesh and bone | black math Break the truth inside of me Climbed down to hell on the devil’s tree I clutched a branch of soot and flame The thought that rose, to scorch my feet

I walk alone Beside myself Nowhere to go

This was another.

xxxvi. nina cried power | hozier It's not the song, it is the singin' It's the heaven of the human spirit ringin' It is the bringin' of the line It is the bearin' of the lie It's not the wakin', it's the risin'

So last year Take Me To Church made it to my Top 38 or whatever I had it narrowed down to, mostly because I went through a Les Mis phase. But I kind of joked on that post last year about Hozier releasing an album next year and how unlikely it was, and lo, here we have it. Maybe not a full length album, but five new beautiful songs.

xxxvii. kol nidrey | the yuval ron ensemble Nidrana lo nidrei, V'essarana lo essarei Ush'vuatana lo shevuot. Maggie Stiefvater posted this song to her blog a couple months ago and I was really fond of it. It’s incredibly beautiful.

xxxviii. stronger | the score I do this with conviction I write truths and never fiction My disease is what you fed I can't stop with my ambition

Oh look, another Marvel fanvid.

xxxix. rise like a phoenix || conchita wurst I rise up to the sky You threw me down but I'm gonna fly So honestly, basically the rest of the mix are songs from Ryan’s OR mix which is an official EOS 10 playlist. It’s phenomenal, and I basically spent all of October and some of November getting stuck on various songs in the mix. xl. heroes || mars zelmerlow Don't tell the gods I left a mess I can't undo what has been done Let's run for cover

Yup. Giving me feels and also super catchy.

xli. cut to the feeling | carly rae jepson Ah, I wanna cut through the clouds, break the ceiling I wanna dance on the roof, you and me alone I wanna cut to the feeling, oh yeah Okay, but like - why did nobody tell me that Carly Rae Jepson had other songs and they were super fucking catchy? I spent the last few days of being a waitress driving to work blaring this and the last two songs and it did fucking wonders for my mood.

xlii. the greatest show | hugh jackman Ladies and gents, this is the moment you've waited for (woah) Been searching in the dark, your sweat soaking through the floor (woah) And buried in your bones there's an ache that you can't ignore Taking your breath, stealing your mind And all that was real is left behind

Breaking news, The Greatest Showman was amazing and I cried. I fucking missed hearing Hugh Jackman sing, and like the fucking lead up, of starting the movie with this song and then ENDING it with this song, with that performance, with those fucking lines (this is the moment you’ve waited for) - was so goddamn energizing. I just could not fucking deal.

xliii. the plains/bitter dancer | fleet foxes I should have known one day you would come All of us walk so blind in the sun Midnight feeder, beggar pleader

Okay, okay. So there's this playlist called Wet Black Leaves that I listened to a lot when I started my new job, throughout rainy October and November, everything was just a little too wet and a little too cold, and this whole mix is so atmospheric and gorgeous. I absolutely adore it.

xliv. always starting over | idina menzel Am I always Starting over? In a brand new story Am I always Back at one After all I've done?

The finale of Wolf 359 fucked everyone up, right? Yeah, obviously. Okay, well the final episode of season 3 of EOS 10 also fucked me right the hell up. Like we’re talking messy crying in the car on the way to your like second or third day at the new job. Anyway, I kind of spiraled and then I went back and listened to Ryan’s mix and found this song and just wanted to kick my heart around for awhile.

xlv. if i could turn back time | cher If I could reach the stars I'd give 'em all to you Then you'd love me, love me, like you used to do If I could turn back time MESSY CRYING. But like, I also really like this song. So MESSY CRYING and also screaming all these words as loudly as I can within the relatively safe confines of my car. I guarantee you that people next to me at stop lights thought that I’d gone through a messy breakup.

xlvi. new rules | dua lipa Three: Don't be his friend You know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the morning And if you're under him, you ain't gettin' over him Okay, but also some of the Ryan songs were catchy in a not heart breaking way, unless you think about the untold story of what exactly went on between Ryan and Akmazian and fill in the blanks and break your own heart.

xlvii. fernando | cher There was something in the air that night The stars were bright, Fernando They were shining there for you and me

Cher did an entire cover album of Abba songs in like, late October, I think? And like, my little gay heart fucking exploded and I listened to Cher singing ABBA songs for like three whole weeks and it was fucking fantastic. This... was actually not my favorite of the bunch until I went into a Barnes and Noble to pick up a copy of The Wise Man’s Fear and had a completely transformative experience when I heard it playing softly over the stacks.

xlviii. it’s quiet uptown | kelly clarkson If I could spare his life If I could trade his life for mine He’d be standing here right now And you would smile, and that would be enough

And after a brief detour into delightful cher/abba combinations we’re back to tragic EOS 10 songs. Additionally, I’m sick of Hamilton songs fucking me up. I get to see it in person in 2019 and I’m going to make a fool of myself when I cry my eyes out in front of Nick and our friends.

xlix. movement | hozier So move me, baby Shake like the bough of a willow tree You do it naturally

And just when I thought we were just going to get the four songs out of Hozier in 2018, we got this gem, which I think I like more than all the others.

l. seasons of love | rent cast Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes How do you measure the life Of a woman or a man?

I will never be over this song. I will never be over this musical. Merry Christmas, guys.

#heather says what #music makes the world go round #fuck yeah fanmixes #new year's memes #2018

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transseandiaz · 3 years ago

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How to Tell Certain Instruments Apart by Sound?

Googled "reddit musical instruments", found this subreddit.

Been bingeing through videogame soundtracks (Kingdom Hearts, StarCraft, Halo, etc.), got me thinking about the instruments. Some instruments, I have trouble telling the sounds apart, since I'm not a big music player or anything like that. Specifically:

A) Viola, Violin, Cello... I know that the violin and viola are visually distinct, with one noticeably bigger than the other (IIRC). But how can I tell their sounds apart? I've heard people say they sound nearly identical; is that true? As for the cello, it's mostly unmistakable, but I'm curious - how high can a cello go, and how low can a violin and/or viola go? Is there any potentially-confusing overlap? (I am assuming that the fourth typically-thought-of instrument of the family, the double-bass, can't possibly be mistaken for anything else... or can it? Is there overlap with the cello's range?)

B) Trumpet, Trombone, French Horn. I've only ever heard trombones make a kinda... blart-y sound (YT vid of two dudes on a bicycle and the one in back using his trombone to make motorcycle noises comes to mind); can they sound "smoother", or is any time I hear a brass instrument in that range that's not unmistakably a trombone actually a french horn? How low can trumpets go - low enough for someone inexperienced in deciphering instrument sounds to mistake it for anything else? (I'm assuming that the sounds of the tuba and the saxophone are unmistakable even to a casual listener)

(If I think of anything else before anybody replies to this, I'll edit it in)

submitted by /u/DKN117 [link] [comments] from /r/Instruments https://ift.tt/MRQzvCe

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storytellerxxxx · 7 years ago

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ONE OK ROCK NYC 2 DAYS EXPERIENCE

Here’s me avoiding all responsibilities and totally ignoring that it’s almost been 2 months :D

As (many?) of you may know I went to both NYC shows, general admission for the first day and VIP for the second day!! I was going to do a write up in the following days after but I was still pretty overwhelmed then and have pushed it back till now, whoops. Warning, long post ahead as I gotta fit 2 days in somehow HAHA

So keep reading if you wanna know how I kissed Toru’s cheek, ran into them and got selfie + sign with Toru :D

All photos are mine/taken by me.

Since it was middle of summer this time, I could actually wait out in line and not die of freezing like back in January so I arrived at the venue around 9:20. Surprise, there was already a short line (that totally didn’t change much for the next few hours tbh lol) VIP and general admission lines were separated much later in the day like a few hours before opening time so everyone was just chilling till then.

This was a banner someone had made and everyone in the line in the morning had signed! It was gigantic and pretty fucking cool, they gave it to them during M&G.

Around 10-11 their bright orange bus arrived in the front of the venue but none of the members came with it. Around noon Ryota was the first to make his appearance and walked in alone. I went to get lunch and during the time I was gone, Ryota and Michelle walked past the line :)) At some point after that a camera crew came out to record the line, they had us all stand up and they filmed everyone cheering lol Ryota walked in again later with Toru at around 3 and Taka did as well soon after I think (I missed the record button on my phone for Taka, good job me). By then the line for VIP and general admission had been split. I was at the very front of the GA line. I’ll complain talk about the line splitting and staff when I get to day 2. But anyway, camera man followed them inside. Michelle and Jamil walked in a bit after them with giant bags of food I think, Michelle is so beautiful :’)

So yeah, then we got in and I got a spot in what I guess was like the third row between Taka and Toru. Palisades was the first opener, I didn’t listen to any of their stuff beforehand bc I wanted to experience them live first and let me just say, I totally fell in love with them. They played songs off their self titled album that was released earlier this year along with an Unsteady by X Ambassadors cover (which was amazing and I really want a studio version). Fun fact, Brandon (the second vocalist and bass player) held onto my friend’s hand for a moment during that :’) The lighting for their set was really dark so barely any nice pics :((

Here’s Lou, the lead vocalist! Super nice and chill guy btw

After Palisades was Set It Off...not much to say about them from me tbh I don’t really like them but their song Hypnotized is fun and catchy. Cody (I think that’s the singer’s name?) went into the crowd and disappeared at the end, I got to touch his hand from all the shoving.

AND THEN, what everyone had been waiting for, ONE OK ROCK! I won’t say much about the songs as I really don’t have as much to say as the January show bc this isn’t the first time hearing them live. I remember pointing out that Taka did seem to struggle a bit with I was King but he was on point for that this time. I had hoped that they’d have Listen and owt on the setlist but sadly they didn’t.

Toru was on fire. His arms are so nice.

So beautiful.

After Chester’s passing, I had already imagined oor doing some sort of tribute for him and they met my expectations that day with the One More Light cover. It was a moment that can’t be described easily, the first performance they did of it. There was sense that everyone was either holding their breath or singing along softly, paying full attention to Taka’s raw voice.

One More Light replaced Hard to Love and led into Take What You Want, which had (around) a minute of silence. Toru looked quite emotional at the beginning, I remember the people around me asking if he was crying (which he wasn’t). I wish I could say it was totally quiet but it wasn’t someone yelled the next few lines of the song like 3 times even though everyone was shushing him ://

The Osaka bros rocked it out together for a moment during a song that I totally forgot, oops. (hello pics from my phone and someone else’s hand right in front of me LOL) Again, was not on Ryota’s side of the stage and didn’t see him much being how short I am :’)) same with Tomo, but he was rocking it back there.

For the encore, Taka actually came down to Toru’s side to crowd surf, and I ended up touching his arm/shoulder LOL so. much. pushing. Everyone wanted a piece of Taka haha

No picture at the end this time but when they were waving goodbye and stuff, Tomo was the last one to leave the stage and he knocked into Toru’s mic stand, knocking off all the remaining picks...Security gave them out but I was too far away cries

After the show, we met Palisades by their merch! Was still so hyped from the concert and probably a mess but everyone was so nice. Told them we would be seeing them again tomorrow and they were excited. Lou called me sweetie HAHA Brandon is adorable

What is this?, you may ask. Well, it’s Toru’s feet LOL

So long story short, our group was still outside then and everyone else had left already. We were about to walk past the doors of the venue when Ryota and Michelle just came out. I was so shocked, I did some small wave and like quietly squeaked out Ryota I think. His hair was in a ponytail! Not was it only him, Toru, Tomoya and Jeff came out right after them. They told us they were going to get food and we didn’t stop them for pics or signs, just waved and said hi. And that’s how we ran into oor minus Taka, amazing.

DAY 2

Got there at around 10-11 bc I was dead from the day before. Same deal with waiting in line and stuff but none of oor walked by that day. Lou (of Palisades) did walk by the line at like noon or something and then walked back past us again bc he went the wrong way, that was hilarious.

Soo I had VIP second day and when they split the lines, the person let the VIP from the front of the line move to the VIP section (which was like around the corner) BUT they cut us off and then had the VIP from the back of the line go. It was so bullshit, thankfully most of my group had made it into the first cut. The asshole guy also yelled at everyone basically that they need to stop complaining bc “everyone will get the equal time and treatment.” He told this to those, like us, who had been waiting hella early that were now next to people who had just joined the line. They also had two security scanners but the guy only used one on the other side of our group + the other really early group.

(pic from day one, on day two we were on the outer side but the guy only used the right side. smh)

VIP was the same as always, show ID, get laminate. The laminates were a lot nicer this time :)

Went in and lined up for M&G, we were like the second group in the line lol Jeff explained how it would work, did a demo in which he had us pretend he was about a foot shorter to be Taka and had us cheer as he walked in, I think I was more laughing than cheering at that LOL but apparently we were ahead of schedule so they started really soon after that, like oor just randomly walked in right after.

Meet and greet experience, many thanks to my friend for recording my turn for me :’)

Hugged Ryota and said hi, moved onto Taka, hugged him and then we just kinda held each other’s arms and then he held my hand bc I spontaneously decided to thank them for the Chester tribute and that it was beautiful and that I would have seen them the next week in NJ. Yeah.

I did not notice at the time but Toru was intensely staring me down the whole time, amazing.

Then I hugged Toru and Tomo, I did not bump my head against Tomo’s shoulder like last time :)) Tomo is so happy and smiley, he’s so precious.

I went back to the middle for the pic and I said “Toru?” and he looked down (hello I am smol) and I asked if I could give him a kiss on his cheek (This was Anna (@shajichan)’s idea okay) and there was like an awkward second of just us staring at each other before he was like “sure.” He bent his knees so that I could reach him :’)) I was still on the tips of my toes :’))

Ryota was off in his own world the whole time so idk what he was thinking when he saw us tbh LOL and Taka’s hand had actually been around my waist from the moment I went back to the middle :’))) Being that close to Toru was an experience.

ANYWAY, I bought merch while we were waiting after the M&G. The merch for Ambitions is so...lol but I had to get something at least

The signed album from VIP as well. Not included in pic is the wristband bc I forgot I was still wearing it, smart me.

Since we were basically at the front of the VIP, I got a spot on barricade right in front of Toru. Let me just say this spot was magical or something bc I was not pushed once, had room to step back if I wanted to and I was cold. Magical I say.

Show was like the same except 250x better bc I was front row this time. There’s vids of like Toru being rude throughout the whole show on my ig if you want to see what went down.

Maybe it was being so close and being able to see them so much clearer but I was way more emotional during One More Light than on the first day. I’m pretty sure Julen has pics of me trying to cover my face with my phone during it :)) The silence in TWYW was completely silent this time, it was so perfect. Taka was also doing some mic tricks during MLF, like throwing it up and catching it, twirling it..etc really nice to see that again after so long since his wired mic tricks :((

Taka came out with a beer for the encore, surprising everyone I think LOL no crowd surfing this time sadly.

We went to Palisades merch table again afterwards, actually buying stuff this time. I got their album and shirt and gave their merch guy a $10 tip LOL

Album was signed later outside by Lou and Brandon!! We were waiting for them bc they had to clear the venue so we couldn’t take pics or have time to talk to them inside. While waiting outside, we met Palisades photographer/Brandon’s friend, Geremy, who was only doing photography for Palisades but oor was so amazing that he borrowed an AAA pass to shoot them the whole time :D

So sweet.

Ryota and Michelle actually came out and walked right behind me when I was talking to Geremy and my friends... but I caught Toru when he came out! Totally missed Taka even though he was like right next to me as well at some point

My signed phone case :’)

And that’s about it for the two days. Writing these reports are fun lol I am broke but those 2 days were fucking awesome and I hanged out with the best people, really want to do it again soon :D

#one ok rock #oor #it's been over a month #whoops #toru #taka #tomoya #ryota #this was so fun #i miss everyone #take me back #or take my to germany so I can meet Anna #either way #toru killed me multiple times #is anyone gonna read all of this #pls tell me if you do #LOL

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shemakesmusic-uk · 4 years ago

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Pop artist Nadia Vaeh has dropped her new music video for her powerful track 'Anxiety'. The video reflects on her personal mental health struggles and how she copes with the highs and lows of anxiety. The video shows Nadia alone at home coping with what the real and raw effects of anxiety look and feel like. As an advocate, she hopes her music can inspire people to embrace the conversation of mental health and be a reminder that they are not alone.

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Babeheaven, the project of West Londoners Nancy Andersen and Jamie Travis, share their latest single, 'Craziest Things', along with a video from the award-winning illustrator and animator, Sacha Beeley. The track is taken from the duo’s much anticipated debut album, Home For Now, which will be released on November 20 via AWAL, and follows the singles 'Cassette Beat' and 'Human Nature'. About the track, Nancy said: “On 'Craziest Things', I explore my anxiety and insomnia, not being able to make sense of my emotions and running around in a state of mania.”

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Moscow-based multi-talented avant-pop artist Kate Shilonosova aka Kate NV has just unveiled a video for 'Lu Na', a track taken from her last album Room for the Moon. Drawing from “unlived memories of 70s and 80s Russian and Japanese pop music and film,” the project also comes with vintage and surreal conceptual videos inspired by the shows she was watching as a child. In these new Gina Onegina-directed visuals, she introduces four dancers voguing in pinky cats outfits. “‘Lu Na’ was originally planned as a dance clip consisting mostly of one repetitive loop—simple pattern where cats walk in a square one by one,” she stated. “This pattern was hugely inspired and based on [Samuel] Beckett’s piece Quad which I love. Originally I just wanted the sun to appear slowly behind those cats while they walk. All of the dancers were wonderful, they brought so much life to the characters of those cats!” [via High Clouds]

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Kississippi, the increasingly pop-minded project of the Philadelphia musician Zoe Reynolds, have released a new single, 'Around Your Room'. Kississippi got their start making wispy and hypnotic folk reveries, which opened up into more muscular fare on their debut full-length, 2018’s Sunset Blush. 'Around Your Room' is their most unabashedly pop song yet, a strobing synth that pulls from Lorde’s Melodrama providing the main thrust for Reynolds’ gauzy lyrics about memory and its inexorable pull. Reynolds cowrote 'Around Your Room' with Sarah Tudzin of Illuminati Hotties, according to a tweet from Tudzin. “This song tells a story of yearning and infatuation. It’s about being hopelessly enamored in a way that took me back to my youthful perception of love,” Reynolds said in a statement. “It represents those moments where you’re fully infatuated with someone and they’re all you can think about. I’ve written about love in a cynical manner in the past and this song was written as a reminder of the magic and euphoria that comes with it.” 'Around Your Room' is the lead single from a new Kississippi album due out next year, Reynolds’ first for Triple Crown. Watch director Josh Coll’s video for the song above. [via Stereogum]

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Tank and The Bangas have announced a new EP called Friend Goals. Due out November 20 via Verve Forecast, the six-track, guest-heavy release is being previewed with the track 'Self Care'. The New Orleans-based group are known for their collaborative habits, having this year teamed with the likes of Jacob Collier and Fantastic Negrito. Friend Goals, as the title might suggest, brings together a number of artists Tank and The Bangas have befriended over their career. The follow-up to last year’s Green Balloon LP features guests like CHIKA ('Mr. Insta'), Duckwrth ('Fluff'), PJ Morton ('TSA'), and Pell on the title track. Lead single 'Self Care' actually touts three collaborators: Jaime Woods, Orleans Big, and Anjelika “Jelly” Joseph. The track itself is exactly what we need in 2020, an ode to being with yourself and being damn okay with it. “Chillin’ all by myself/ Netflix, eatin’, cheatin’, by myself, all by myself,” Tarriona “Tank” Ball spits, clearly enjoying her alone time. “Nobody else/ New people to the left/ What is there left but myself?” “‘Self Care’ is THE quarantine song to get you moving,” Ball said in a statement. “It shows that some of the best things can come out from solitude, especially when the beat hits this hard.” Take a listen above via the song’s Fat Happy Media-directed video. [via CoS]

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New Zealand’s platinum sensation BENEE unveils the official video for her latest single 'Snail'. For the visual, BENEE and director Anita Fontaine deliver a lush and larger-than-life fantasy befitting of the track. In the colorful clip, BENEE wakes up to feed her giant snail roommates and slides around their slime trails before heading to work in her secret elf lab. Soon, she’s cycling out of her home—a concrete replica of her own head—out into a storm. After being struck by lightning, our heroine turns into an elf and cruises through a mushroom wonderland under the glow of an aurora borealis-style blanket of colors across the sky. Reflective of her personality, it pops off as her biggest and boldest video to date. Of the inspiration behind the video, BENEE says, “I knew I wanted the vid to be a weird fantasy story involving snails! I said to Anita that I wanted to be an elf with long braids riding a bike and have giant mushrooms somewhere in the vid...She came back with the treatment, and I loved ittttttt! Her imagination is supa whacky in the best way, and I’m so happy with how ‘Snail’ turned out!”

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Bebe Rexha has returned with her new anthem 'Baby, I'm Jealous', which features Doja Cat. 'Baby, I'm Jealous' is Bebe Rexha's first single of 2020, following on from last year's Maleficent: Mistress of Evil track 'You Can't Stop The Girl'. The new track marks the debut collaboration between Bebe Rexha and Doja Cat, and is accompanied by a Hannah Lux Davis-directed visual that stars Charli D’Amelio, Nikita Dragun, and Avani Gregg. Bebe Rexha says the new single is "about embracing my insecurities", and adds, "It’s about the way social media has heightened my jealousy which can affect how I feel about myself. We are constantly flooded with the highlights of other people’s lives, and at times I find myself comparing my worth and beauty to others. It’s part of the human process to experience jealousy - ultimately, this is an anthem to embrace those feelings as a form of empowerment." [via Line Of Best Fit]

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Making her grand return to the scene with a striking new single is Brighton-hailed singer Fable, with her new tune 'Thirsty'. With otherworldly tones and harmonising vocals, the singer serves us with a sumptuous genre-bending tune that has us headbanging at every chorus. Known for her bold and atmospheric sonics, the singer accompanies the song with an attention-grabbing video with juxtaposing images of ethereal nature and mental destruction. Speaking on the single, the singer said, “'Thirsty' is about taking the beauty of life for granted. How overtime we write off profound stuff as mundane because it’s a constant; the sky’s always there, but it’s weird and beautiful that we even exist under it. It’s playful at heart but it’s about my realised depression and learning how to reset my perspective through mindfulness,” Having disappeared from the scene back in 2016 due to a personal tragedy, the singer has reconnected to her artistic side and is ready to step back into the spotlight. [via Wonderland]

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With the enticing line-up of Joe Lonie (Supergroove), Milan Borich (Pluto), Jol Mulholland (The Reduction Agents) and Morgan Leary (Cindy), Tāmaki Makaurau supergroup Kathy Bates Motel share their latest ear worm 'Cool Your Heels'. The class act's second single, following up debut track 'Damaged Goods', is dangerously catchy, with killer harmonies from vocalists Lonie and Leary. 'Cool Your Heels' will have you moving your feet and hankering for a dance, a need so perfectly met by the Footloose inspired, Joe Lonie directed visuals. Everybody cut foot loose, the weekend and 'Cool Your Heels' have arrived. [via Under The Radar]

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Up-and-comers Wargasm recently dropped their fifth single, ‘Backyard Bastards’, and now they’ve released a video to go with it. Shot and edited by Olli Appleyard, the video sees sees Sam Matlock (guitar, vocals) hunting down Ryan Cornall (session drummer) on a manic murder spree that finds its peak in an epic showdown between the two, all the while being cheered on by Milkie Way (bass, vocals) and her dancer squad. You can check out the video for ‘Backyard Bastards’ above. [via Dead Press]

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Atlanta-based glam punk rockers Starbenders have released an energetic and evocative music video for their new single 'Can’t Cheat Time' off most recent album Love Potions. 'Can’t Cheat Time' is available now as part of a bundle featuring the original single and an acoustic version. 'Can’t Cheat Time' perfectly pairs frontwoman Kimi Shelter‘s incredible vocal shapeshifting abilities with electrocuted guitars and heart-pounding rhythm for this stand out rock ‘n’ roll anthem. Speaking to the inspiration for the single’s music video, Shelter adds: “‘Can’t Cheat Time’ is a personal favorite amongst the band. This single has a wicked string arrangement reminiscent of Jeff Lynne from ELO’s production style. It was so rewarding hearing all of it come together with the live string players. The accompanying music video is a love letter to the mom and pop businesses that have shaped and supported our very existence. These businesses along with the touring industry have been devastated by the pandemic. We filmed in locations around Atlanta which include the local greasy spoon diner, the record shop, the independent guitar store, the watering hole, and the divey small music venue. While mega-retailers did not close down for even one day, 60% of small to medium-sized businesses in the USA that closed will never reopen. These places are vital to the social and economic health of our cities. We encourage our friends to go to saveourstages.com. Sign up to push legislators to help independent venues though the updated Heroes Act. So many are hurting and on the verge of financial ruin from lighting to sound engineers, musicians, DJs, security, bar staff and venue operators. Our hearts are with you all.“ [via The Girls At The Rock Show]

#videos of the week #nadia vaeh #babeheaven #kate nv #kississippi #tank and the bangas #benee #bebe rexha #doja cat #fable #kathy bates motel #wargasm #starbenders

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pinupgalore-lanadelrey · 7 years ago

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Lana Del Rey - Flaunt Interview

Lana Del Rey is… happy?

“I think I was feeling happy that I was present, and not afraid in a way that I couldn’t enjoy my everyday things,” the musician says of the new record’s title, sat in blue jeans, cross-legged on the floor of a Chateau Marmont hotel suite, enjoying French fries and a Diet Coke on a balmy, breezy Friday afternoon. “I’m the kind of person that really loves those things. Like when I drive, I love every road, and I can’t believe that I’m in L.A. I love the architecture, grabbing a coffee, striking up conversation with the people I encounter. And I hate when I can’t enjoy the little things because in the back of my head I have concerns or preoccupations. So for me, it was that sort of lust for life. It was kind of just about happiness.”

“The record has fewer dimensions,” she remarks. “But they’re more beautiful than in the past. I had no idea that would make it easier to talk about.” Has this ease with discussing the content perhaps coincided with a sort of softening, or openness toward her in the arenas of public or journalistic reception? “I feel that,” she says thoughtfully. “And it’s helped me be more open as well. Because it’s hard to talk about your innermost feelings if you feel the reception will be cold. And I hung back for a while. I did a handful of interviews, but not many in the last few years. But also I was writing and writing, and digging through stuff, and not writing things as easy to digest or discuss. It still comes from me, but as I’ve evened out as a person, I don’t have as much I don’t want to say. I feel comfortable.”

“Da-vid La-Chapelle. Whoa. Da-vid La-Chapelle,” Del Rey says breathily, “I just couldn’t believe it,” Del Rey says. “Because I always make things really hard to work, because I don’t want to talk that much. So I had defiantly said to someone, ‘Don’t ask me unless David LaChapelle is shooting it.’ And then I get a call from Stephen Huvane [a partner in Slate PR], and he’s like ‘David LaChapelle is shooting it and you’re going to do it.’ So when I got to his studio, which is like a few blocks from my house, I was blown away. He’s amazing. And he thinks big picture, and different picture, and textures, and he doesn’t want to do a simple portrait right now because that’s not where he is in his life. And I’m the same way. I don’t want to make a pop record if I’m feeling more acoustic, for instance. And so he’s very true to his own space. There’s not that many people that I would follow into the unknown, so to speak, but with him, I would probably do most of what he suggested.”

David LaChapelle - “I have had a relationship with Flaunt for a long time. Lana’s a down-to-earth person. I like her writing. I saw her show at the Hollywood Bowl, and really liked the music, and that inspired the concept and ideas for the photos. Lana was interested in the artistic angle, not a promotional angle, which I really liked. Much more interested in creating art than promoting something.”

Notably, there is a track on Lust for Life, recorded with Sean Lennon, a layered and playful number that explores, among other things, John Lennon and Yoko Ono – a canonical deity of lust and artistry if ever there was – that sees Del Rey refreshingly step outside her own paradigm. “I felt like it belonged to someone else,” she says of the single, “Tomorrow Never Came.” “And I never feel that, because I like to keep everything for myself. I thought it might be strange for Sean to sing a song about John and Yoko as well. But I think the fact that I sing, ‘Isn’t life crazy now that I’m singing with Sean.’ It points to the fact that we’re both aware. I didn’t want it to come out exploitative in any fashion. Not that it would. Still, I wanted to be as careful as possible. I wanted it to come across layered with this sort of meta narrative mixed in. In a way it’s a song about a song.”

I speak over the phone to Lennon, currently in New York, who originally received a very simple version of the song from Del Rey with only her vocals, guitar, and an organ. “To me,” he shares, “Ninety-nine percent of what is magical about that song was already contained in her original vocal performance. I felt like it was my job to simply highlight and accentuate what was already there in her voice and melody, and in her lyrics. Everything I played was merely ornamental, like tailoring a ballroom gown on an already stunning woman: the only way to mess up is if you take away from or disguise the beauty that is already there.”

Considering the lineage in the song and their first collaboration together, I ask Lennon what he learned from the experience. “She has exceptional taste,” he remarks. “I told her that working on her song was a valuable lesson since I often modulate and take unintuitive chordal and melodic twists and turns, and she reminded me that you can be perhaps even more compelling if the melodies and chords feel natural and intuitive, not contrived or disorienting as in my music. Anyway I’ll never forget when she called me after I sent her what I did and her first words were ‘It’s perfect!’ I almost cried with joy because I honestly don’t think anyone has ever said that to me about anything I’ve ever done. It was a very good feeling.”

Beyond the meta-awareness of the lyrics and rich instrumentation [Lennon added “acoustic six- and 12-string guitar, electric guitar, lap steel, upright bass, vibraphone, harpsichord, orchestra bells, drums, and Mellotron strings, and shaker”], a particularly resonant lyric repeats itself a handful of times: You weren’t in the spot you said to wait. I ask Del Rey if there are running themes of stasis or waiting elsewhere on the record. “I think that’s why I felt that of anything on the record, that wasn’t my song,” she considers. “I didn’t feel like I was waiting for anything. It’s really not about anything personally, except that I love the sonics of it; the filters. I try to be as careful as I can that I’ll want to sing stuff on stage that I write. And that song will be an easy one to do because it doesn’t pull at any heartstrings or anything. And I know it’s special to Sean as well, because he’s his dad’s biggest fan. And so I like that, in a small way, they had a moment, in whatever surreal way that could happen.”

Accordingly, you have my personal favorite track on the record, “God Bless America,” an unbridled spanker of a song that’s title refrain is followed by, “And all the beautiful women in it”—that’s instantly echoing through your melon and one in which Del Rey remarks, “Yeah, I went there.” She describes the song, of which Mawson shared earlier his reluctance to release as a single, given the tendency of Del Rey to net the mentioned public polarization, “It has some strong messaging,” she says nodding. “Some iconography, with Lady Liberty, fire escapes and the streets, and I do get a little New York feel when I listen back to it.” I tell her the song feels grandiose in production, anthemic in verse… very New York in fact, a sparkling pile of empire and accomplishment. And while New York (and its banks) have churned out the free world leader and a boys club not so concerned about everyone therein being blessed, moreover the “beautiful women in it”—reminding us that grandiosity has its pitfalls—“God Bless America” could easily ascend the ladder as a 2017 rally cry.

I ask her if she feels the appropriative nature of the song title may stir any pots of sorts.”Well, it’s the God word,” she says measuredly. “But the phrase has wider meaning. It’s more of a sentiment. When I wrote it I didn’t feel like it was confined to a traditional portrait of the Lord, as some sects might see it. It was more like, ‘Fucking God bless us all and let’s hope we make it through this.’ She further explains the genesis, “When all the Women’s Marches were happening, I had already written this song, because I had been hearing a lot of things online. And I have a sister, and a lot of girlfriends, who had a lot of concerns about things that were being said in the media by some of our leaders. And I saw an instant reaction from women, and I was like, ‘Wow. There is no confusing how women are feeling about the state of the nation.’ And so without really trying to, I felt compelled to just write a song and say we are all concerned. And it really made me think about my relationship with women. And I felt proud of myself, because I do love the women in my life. And I take care of them, and I ask them what they think about music, and guys, and problems, and I thought it was so cool that I’m really right there in the same boat with them. And sometimes I’m not. Sometimes I feel like I’ve got my finger right on the pulse of what’s going on, and then some of my music comes out and it’s like, ‘Fuck, that was a miss. Fuck, that’s not what people feel, at all. But with this, I was right there with everyone.”

Considering the caution from management around the track, I ask Del Rey if the potentiality for rib kicks, or what have you, is particular to her, not just someone famous. Does she feel she’s been on the receiving end of a sort of media lust? A presumptive, dutiful debunking of myths? “Perhaps,” Del Rey considers. “Or the journalists don’t have enough going on personally andthey feel like their contribution to current culture is myth building. It’s either one. It’s a broad mix. And I’ll definitely take accountability for how my energy has informed a lot of not true stories. But 50% of that has just been someone’s personal agenda.” Still, despite the pricks and pokes over time, Del Rey does feel the media is incredibly important and worth fighting for at the moment. “That’s why I do love journalists,” she says, “when they’re not assholes, because writers are critical thinkers. They’re people who think it’s important to have conversation, and conversation can lead to change.”

I’d agree: the fundamental purpose of media is to present the facts and propel conversation. That, of course, has been tossed into the bullshit blender of late; a corrupted election, orchestrated intel leaks, and in turn media’s brandishing “the enemy of the people” by the venal and orange President Trump, has the press in a pretty gobsmacked, beleaguered position. So ass over heels that even the governing party’s own Fox News mascot, Bill O’Reilly, has finally been ousted for sexually pawing and verbally gnawing on women whom his employers have considerably paid off over the years to keep hush. It’s a mess out there, right or left or between. “I feel like this election jolted almost everyone who was floating around, feeling weird, whatever… right into the current moment,” Del Rey says. “I know several people that had a sort of drifter mentality that are now in the thick of it, considering things, and considering their own contributions, and what matters. I’ve known what matters to me for a long time, so I was already kind of there, but I didn’t really see it going this negatively. I feel like we’re in a bit of a Hitchcockian experience, and you’re in a scenario, and every day you wake up and you can’t believe the things being said and done are real. And I think some people are questioning if this shit is actually happening, like especially with the North Korea issues, which are really the scariest because you’re talking about nuclear annihilation.”

“The world is in an extraordinarily tenuous place. And while it could be said, certainly for the sake of this piece, the earliest seedlings of civilization were wrought with lust for power, we are, it seems, at somewhat of a tipping point. On the topic of the Women’s March, I share a video of the protests in Caracas, Venezuela, where some two million people were marching that morning against President Nicolás Maduro, dozens of whom were reported killed by police or government backing loyalists.” I remark that the collectivist, community-making nature of protest could perhaps only be likened to the power of song. Is there anything on the record that explores this swell of community-making here and around the world at present? She considers. “Well, I have a song that’s quite aware about the collective worry, about whether this is the end of an era. It’s called “When the world was at war we kept dancing.” But I actually went back and forth about keeping it on the record, because I didn’t want it there if it would make people feel worse instead of better. It’s not apathetic. The tone of the production is very dark, and doesn’t lead to a fucking happy feeling. And the question it poses: Is this the end of America, of an era? Are we running out of time with this person at the helm of a ship? Will it crash? In my mind, the lyrics were a reminder not to shut down or shut off, or just don’t talk about things. It was more like stay vigilant and keep dancing. Stay awake.”

Given the pace and intensity of the environment in our surrounds of which the artist speaks, I point out that there are still moments on the record that feel lonely, or lost in expectancy, far from active. I cite a lyric: “We get all dressed up to go nowhere in particular.” Del Rey shares that she’d had a phone call with a friend earlier that day, about their personal lives, their music, and she states that he too raised that when talking about artistic stall as a demonstration of stasis. She disagreed with him. “It wasn’t about stasis. I meant that you don’t need to have anything to do to get dressed up and feel special.”

We live in a culture where pressure and precedent abound, one in which women are constantly challenged with not feeling special based on their body, their skin color, their age, their social position, their follower count. Does she agree? “It’s more like we just don’t have as much cultural practice at taking the time to appreciate ourselves for who we really are,” she says. “We spend a lot of time when the nation was founding building government, money, and then getting the education system down, so it’s not like some cultures where you take time to mediate, et cetera, on your own dreams, wishes, self worth. I think it’s not enough practice. It’s not like they teach you that in school. But I think that that’s changing too. That’s actually a lot of what the record is about. Even in “God Bless America”… ‘Take me as I am, don’t see me for what I’m not… Only you can save me tonight.’ It’s about seeing people: what they’re actually doing. Who they actually are.”

In that sense, Del Rey is championing the same values as her influential predecessors, few and far as they may be, or as bamboozled by the power systems in which they thrived. Consider “Beautiful People,” where she trades verses and coalesces on the chorus with the one and only Stevie Nicks, of whom I refer to as a bonafide badass. “I didn’t know what to except or that I could even ask her, Del Rey remarks. “When I went through ideas of women that could really add something to the record, she was the one we kept coming back to. ‘Bonafide badass’ is a great phrase for her. She’s really real. And she’s still fucking touring, which baffles me. There are so few women doing that. You’ve got Courtney Love, who works, sings, tours… there’s not that many women who were making music in the ’70s or ’80s who still make music. It really is pretty crazy.”

“I know a couple of people who love to write,” she says as we’re collecting ourselves to leave the hotel room, “and love to rhyme, love melodies, and I do too. But to me it’s so much more than that. It feels like a life’s work and it feels like it’s really important just to me, so I put a lot of time into it.”

We’ve been speaking for a little over an hour. I return to a conversation we’d briefly shared on the photo shoot regards this, Flaunt’s music issue, and its theme (“heartbreak”), determined before we’d secured Del Rey as our cover subject. She’d been briefed on this by her publicity team and was admittedly wary about aligning. Again, that embodiment dilemma. Appropriation? Role playing? “Everything I’ve done in the last two years,” she says with confidence, “I would never say anything that wasn’t true. Even in the music. That’s why I was nervous about me being on the cover, and in big font “The Heartbreak Issue” because the thing is, I don’t feel heartbroken. So I didn’t want to continue a narrative that didn’t apply to me. Because the only person who truly cares about whether I continue that narrative, or any, is me. So I have to do my due diligence. And it doesn’t always work, but I’ll be damned if I don’t fucking try.”

#lana del rey #flaunt magazine #interview

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